


plead the fifth

by pancakedispatcher



Series: Legally Lance [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Coran is a manicurist, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Happy Ending, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, I don't know anything about law school, Klance is the end relationship, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance has a dog, Law School, Legally Blonde, M/M, Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Some Humor, Some angst, The Author Regrets Nothing, author is a mess, i've used like every random side character in this im sorry, klance, legally blonde: the voltron edition, like a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 01:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11453406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pancakedispatcher/pseuds/pancakedispatcher
Summary: Lance knew one thing for certain: he was getting Nyma back, even if it meant going to Harvard himself.~~~AKA: The Legally Blonde AU that nobody asked for, featuring Desperate Fashion Major Lance, Confused Keith, Done With Everything Shiro, Coran the Nail Artist, Also-Done-With-Everything Pidge, Too Pure For This World Hunk, and Allura: Professional Prison Uniform Model





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Does this already exist? Probably. Do I have any idea why I wrote this? Absolutely not. Am I writing it anyway? You bet I am. 
> 
> So this is basically a reimagining of Legally Blonde with the Voltron characters, but it doesn't follow the film (or the fantastic musical) word for word or scene for scene. I’ve played around with various character relationships as well, but I think it works! I hope I haven’t totally butchered anything!
> 
> Warnings for an obscene amount of dialogue, probable typos and an evident lack of understanding of the American education system.

“Now, should I wear this one,” Lance held up a lavender shirt before throwing it back on the pile, “or _this_ one?” He said, examining the blue button up before looking back at the growing mountain of discarded shirts and blazers on his bed. 

Hunk looked over the two shirts, bringing his fingers to his mouth as he thought. “The purple one _does_ compliment your skin tone, _but_ the blue one really makes your eyes stand out,” he said, holding both of them up against Lance’s torso. “I’d go with the blue shirt, paired with, hmmm, the grey blazer?”

Lance’s nose scrunched up, looking at Hunk like he’d lost his mind. “Really, Hunk, really? A grey suit with _that_ shade of blue? No way, if it’s that shirt, I have to wear my navy blazer.” He took the blazer in question out of his wardrobe, holding it to the side of the shirt before nodding. 

Hunk shrugged. “Well, you are the fashion major after all. Oh, man, I can’t believe Nyma is going to _propose_ tonight! I’m so happy for you!” He bounded over to Lance, pushing the clothes away and picking him up in a bruising hug. 

Lance’s eyes bugged out as all the air was forcibly squeezed from body, a wheezing gasp leaving his throat. “T-thanks, buddy. I really appreciate it, but, uhm, I can’t _breathe_ ,” He gasped, patting Hunk on the back as a signal to be put down. 

“Anyway,” he continued once back on solid ground, “I don’t know for _sure_ that she’s proposing. It could just be a normal date, yknow.” 

This was a lie, of course. Lance was totally expecting a proposal (he’d already practiced happy-crying and shouting _‘yes, of course!_ ’). He’d probably have gone and propped the question himself by now if he didn’t know the Nyma was, without a doubt, the kind of girl who did the proposing and would be horrified if her boyfriend got down on one knee. 

Hunk scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. She totally got rings from her grandparents! Why _else_ would they have flown in all the way from _Newport_? You’re totally getting engaged!” 

Lance decided to drop all pretense right then and there. “Heck _yeah_ , I am!”

~~~ 

When Nyma arrived at the fraternity house, she looked as stunning as ever. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in an elegant braid, and her purple dress played off the colour of her eyes. She pulled off her pair of sunglasses, winking at some of the other frat guys milling around the foyer, before making her way over to Lance. 

She stood in front of him, taking in his appearance before flashing him a bright smile. “Wow. Lance, you look great,” she said. (She was right, Hunk had totally made the right call with the blue shirt. Lance looked pretty damn good, if he did say so himself). 

Lance smiled bashfully. “Aw, thank you. You look absolutely beautiful,” he said, bringing her in for a kiss, which caused his fellow frat members to wolf whistle. 

The two pulled away, linking hands. “I know,” Nyma smirked, and led Lance out of the frat house and to her convertible. The drive to the restaurant was relaxed and filled with conversation. Nyma always listened to Lance, which was a rarity for him -  he had a tendency to ramble, and more often than not, people would just zone out. Nobody ever really _listened_ to what he had to say, but Nyma was different. She always seemed to be genuinely interested in his thoughts and ideas.

The restaurant itself was gorgeous - artfully placed plants, twinkling fairy lights and immaculately set tables. Lance himself was more of a burger diner and froyo parlour guy himself, but even he had to appreciate the upscale, romantic venue. Plus, it _screamed_  ‘proposal’; if he hadn’t already been 100% sure, he would be now. _This was the night!_

A waiter approached the table, refilling the couples glasses with expensive wine. Lance raised his glass, taking the opportunity to steer the conversation towards their relationship. “To us,” he smiled, clinking his glass with Nyma who echoed his sentiments. 

“Lance,” Nyma began, looking at him with a coy smile, “once of the reasons I wanted to come here tonight was to...discuss our future together.” 

“And I am _fully_ amenable to that discussion,” Lance smiled brightly. _It’s happening, it’s happening!_ He desperately tried to play it cool, but he was pretty sure he was going to blurt his carefully practiced, _‘Yes, of course!’_ prematurely if Nyma didn’t get on with it. Not that he was impatient, or anything. 

“Great! Well, you know how we’ve had so much fun together, recently? Harvard is...Harvard is going to be different. Law school is a completely different world, and…” Lance started to nod understandingly, trying to give his girlfriend (soon to be _fiancéé!_ ) some support, “...and I need to be serious.”

“Of course you do, babe, and I totally get that” He said, not really knowing much about Harvard Law school but knowing enough to realise that it was a Big Deal and Nyma would undoubtedly be busy there. 

Nyma smiled again at him, taking a sip of her wine. “I mean, you know how much my family expects from me. Hell, _I_ expect a lot from me. Like I’ve said, I plan on running for office some day.” 

“You know that I completely support that, right, Nyma?” And he did - he may not be that interested in law and politics himself, but he was so proud of Nyma, and knew she’d go on to achieve so much. 

“Absolutely. But, well, the thing is...if I’m going to be a senator by the time I’m thirty, I’m going to need to stop dicking around, you know?” 

Oh, oh boy, this was it. It was happening! Nyma was talking about settling down and being in a serious relationship - a serious relationship with _Lance!_

“Nyma, I couldn’t agree more.” He said, hoping to show her that he was totally on board with what was about to happen. 

Nyma took a big breath. “That’s why I think it’s time for us….Lance, Pumpkin,” She used her pet name for him, taking his hand across the table. 

Lance just couldn’t hold it in any more. “I do!” He said……

…...at the same time Nyma said, _I think we should break up._

Break up? _Break up?! ___

The brilliant smile Lance had been wearing all evening vanished. “W-what?!” He nearly shouted.

Nyma, however, was totally unphased and still grinning. “I’ve been thinking and, well, it’s the right thing to do.” 

“You’re...breaking up with me? I thought...I thought you were _proposing_ ” Lance said in disbelief. How was this happening? Things had been going so great between them, and he’d really thought...he thought Nyma loved him ad much as he loved her. 

Nyma chuckled, as if she were humoring a young child and not talking to the man whose heart she’d just crushed. “Lance, if I’m going to be a senator….I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn” 

“So you’re breaking up with me because I’m too, what, fun? _Dumb_?” 

“Well, no, that’s not...not entirely true, but-”

“So when you said that you’d always love me, that was just you _dicking around_?!” Lance was yelling now and drawing attention from the other couples in the restaurant, but he didn’t care. This was horrific. He’d never felt this hurt or embarrassed in his life. 

Nyma cleared her throat and smiled awkwardly at the staring bystanders. “Lance, I do love you, I just...can’t _marry_ you. You have no idea of the pressure I’m under!”

By this point Lance was hysterically crying, an ugly combination of pitiful gasps and hiccups. 

“There are five generations of senators in my family! My sister’s in the top _three_ at Yale Law, and she just got engaged to a _Vanderbilt_ , for God’s sake!” She said, as if that was meant to make Lance feel better (spoiler alert: it didn’t). 

Lance was still inconsolable; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The crying had kicked up a notch and he was certainly creating a scene, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care about it. 

“Sweetie? Pumpkin?” Nyma tried to console Lance, but her use of the (admittedly a little gag-worthy) pet name was the last straw. He threw his napkin down and stood up from the table, shrugging into his blazer and storming away. 

“ _It’s not like I have a choice_!” Nyma shouted after him, but he was done. He pushed his way out of the restaurant, resigning himself to a long and miserable walk home. 

Some five minutes later, Nyma’s white convertible pulled up next to him by the pavement. “Let me take you home, Lace,” She called from the window, driving the car slowly to match his pace. 

Lance shook his head, still sobbing. “No.” 

“Lance, honey, I never expected to do this, honestly. But it’s the right thing, for both of us.” 

“H-how could it be the right thing if we’re not together?” He hiccuped, bring a hand up to furiously wipe at his tears. 

“I have to think of my future, and what my family expects from me - you know what they’re like.” She said, as if she was making total sense, but how could she be? The only thing in Lance’s life that truly made sense was the two of them, together. 

“So you’re breaking up with me because you’re scared your family won’t like me? Everybody likes me!” 

“East Coast people are different, sweetie.”

Lance scoffed. “What, so because I’m not a stupid Vanderbilt, I’m suddenly trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Nyma. Opposite Aaron Spelling! Most people would say that’s a whole lot better than some stuffy old Vanderbilt.” Lance just couldn’t understand. What was wrong with him? He was nice and talented at his course and pretty easy on the eye, too - what did he need to do to make himself good enough for her?

“I told you, Lance. I need someone serious.”

“But I’m _seriously in love_ with you. Isn’t that enough?” 

Nyma sighed again. “Pumpkin, just get in the car.”

“No.” Lance didn’t want to have to spend any more time with her after this. 

“You’re gonna ruin your shoes,” Nyma pointed out. It worked. Lance was in his favourite pair of Magnanni loafers, and if he had to walk all the way back he was certain to wreck them. He sighed before getting into the car and slamming the door closed hard enough for Nyma to wince. 

She swiftly pulled up outside the frat house, leaving Lance - still sniffling and pretending not to cry - to stand alone on the porch and watch as she drove off. 

_What was he meant to do now?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lance tries to cope with his heartbreak, and comes up with a totally fool-proof plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we’re back for round two! I’m so glad people seem to be enjoying this :). I meant to write and post this yesterday but then I laughed so hard at a youtube video that I had an actual asthma attack (woops!), so it’s a little shorter (and probably messier) than I’d hope, but I hope you still enjoy it

Lance was distraught.  
He’d never been this hurt before. Sure, he’d had ups and downs - high school was an actual nightmare - but none that had ever affected him in this way. He didn’t even know the last time he’d left his room - a week, maybe? Time didn’t have meaning anymore. Nothing did; what was the point of getting up and living life when his heart had been absolutely obliterated. 

Lance knew he was probably being way too dramatic - he’d had breakups before, and he’d always picked right back up, but they’d always been mutual, or at least he’d known they were coming. But this? He was so _wrong_. How could he not have realised what she was thinking? They weren’t even in the same book, never mind the same page. 

Lance spent his time torturing himself by watching bad rom coms and soap operas - things that he’d once enjoyed and laughed, he now shouted at the TV screen. Pidge and Hunk nervously walked into his room to find him throwing chocolate at the screen and calling the annoyingly perfect male character a liar and a cheat. 

“Dude, you have to leave this room. It’s been a _week_. You’re starting to smell bad.” Pidge said, perching on his bed and drinking a milkshake.  She looked down at his slumped form, an eyebrow raised in clear judgement. 

“So?” Lance asked. What did he care? He’d gladly become a hermit and stay in his room forever. 

“Here, drink this” She said, thrusting another milkshake into his hands. It was banana, his favourite, but he couldn’t even bring himself to be happy about it. 

Hunk crouched down beside the bed, giving a friendly smile. “Hey, what always makes you feel better, no matter what?” 

The drive to the local nail salon was filled with Lance ugly sobbing to his breakup music playlist in the back of the car. He wasn’t sure if it was making him feel better or worse, but if anyone could get him through this, it was Adele and Whitney Houston. He’d feel bad for inflicting himself upon his friends like this if it wasn’t for Pidge sniggering in the front seat, and Hunk trying to control his smile. 

Lance sat in the waiting area of the salon, listening to Pidge and Hunk gossiping about his emotional state (so what, he’d eaten multiple grilled cheese sandwiches at once. He was in immense pain, it was understandable), flicking through some magazine about rich people's houses. It was all incredibly boring until he stumbled across a photograph starring a familiar face. 

He gasped out loud, turning to the elderly woman besides him. “Oh my god! Do you know who this is?!” He frantically pointed to the black and white photograph. 

“...no?” The woman - who was a total stranger - said and shook her head, leaning over to look at the image. 

“That’s Nyma’s _older sister_!” His unfortunate companion still looked confused, so he began to read out the accompanying caption. “Third year Yale Law student Layne Bowes Huntington III, and her fiancé Putnam Walker Vanderbilt...first year Yale Law….” 

Lance gasped, having an epiphany. “This is the type of guy that Nyma wants to marry! This is what I need to be like to become serious!” He said, peering back at the short article and glaring at the man. 

“What, practically deformed?” The woman asked. She wasn’t wrong - Putnam was hardly blessed in the looks department, with a serious overbite, puffy eyes and an _awful_ hairstyle. 

Lance looked off into the distance, a new life plan forming before his very eyes. “No. A _law student_.” 

~~~ 

“ _Law school_?” Lance’s mother said, pulling off her sunglasses and looking at her son. 

Lance grinned up at her from the swimming pool. “It’s a very respectable place, Mum” 

“But Lance, honey, you’re doing so great in your fashion course, and you were going to get an internship after graduation! Why through that all away?” She said, sipping on her piña colada and reclining back onto the sun lounger. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Going to Harvard is the only way to get the love of my life back.” It wasn’t like if he went to law school, he _had_ to become a lawyer. He could just be a fashion designer who did a few semesters at Harvard. 

“Sweetheart, you don’t need Harvard for that. Law school is for...well, it’s for boring, ugly and serious people. And you, button, are none of those things.” 

~~~

“Harvard _law school_?” The guidance counsellor said with disbelief, peering at Lance disbelievingly over his file. 

Lance sat up straight, giving her is most charming grin. “That’s right,” he said. 

The guidance counsellor looked back at the file, and then at Lance again. “But...that’s a top three school…” She trailed off, seemingly not getting the point. 

“Oh, I have a 4.0” Lance smiled. He was super proud of his GPA - he worked hard in class and his grades showed it. 

“Yes...but your major is Fashion Merchandising. Harvard won’t be impressed that you aced History of Polka Dots” She awkwardly laughed and shrugged, flipping back through the file. 

Lance wasn’t stupid. He knew he wasn’t the typical law school student, but just because he was majoring in something less academic didn’t mean he didn’t have a shot. He was smart and talented, not just some dumb kid. 

“What are your backups?” 

“Oh, I don’t need any backups. I’m going to Harvard.” This he was confident about - nothing was going to stop him from going to that school and getting Nyma back. 

Clearly, that wasn’t the answer the counsellor was expecting. “Uh, right. Well, then. You’re going to need excellent tutor recommendations, a heck of an admissions essay, and at _least_ a 175 on your LSATs.”

“I once had to judge a tighty whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle this.” 

The counsellor nervously chuckled and handed over a pack of information. 

“Thanks!” Lance said, practically skipping out of her office. 

~~~ 

When Pidge and Hunk found Lance the next day, they assumed that, a) he was severely ill, b) had been possessed by some kind of evil demon, or c) had finally had a total breakdown caused by being dumped by Nyma. 

“Oh my _god_. What are you doing?!” Pidge exclaimed from the doorway. Lance looked up from his spot on the floor, surrounded by textbooks and a pen in his mouth. 

He took the pen out and grinned. “Oh, you know, just reading about the LSATs.”

Pidge and Hunk just blinked at him. “You...do know what that means, right? You’re aware that it isn't, like, an STD or something?” Hunk asked, eyebrows raised. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Yes, I am fully aware that the LSATs are an exam. Guys, I’m going to Harvard.” 

“What, like on vacation?” Pidge asked sceptically, peering at Lance over the edge of her glasses. 

Hunk clapped his hands together. “We should all go! It’ll be a road trip!” 

“Oh, dude, I can totally check out MIT whilst we’re there!” Pidge joined in enthusiastically. 

Lance rolled his eyes, and set his book down. “No, guys. I’m going to Harvard Law School!” He exclaimed, expecting surprise, support and congratulations. 

Instead, there was silence. 

His two friends shared a look and approached him slowly, before Hunk crouched down in front of him. “Look, Lance, I know you’re upset about all this...Nyma stuff, but can’t you just, I dunno, take a Percocet? Or get a manicure?” 

“Once Nyma sees me as a ‘serious law student’, she’ll totally want me back. It’s a brilliant plan!” 

Pidge snorted. “So, like, not to poke holes in your _brilliant plan_ , but that’s never gonna happen. Harvard is super hard to get into. You’re doing a _fashion_ major - no admissions board is gonna take you on for _law_! Besides, spending all that time and money on law school just to get some blonde that dumped you back?” His younger friend crossed her arms, pinning Lance with her patented _You’re Such an Idiot_ look. 

“Ex _cuse_ me, I have the highest GPA in my class _and_ my Fraternity. Anyway, I wouldn’t expect you to understand matters of the heart, Pidge. It’s beyond a twelve year olds emotional reach.” 

“Hunk, if you don’t hold me back, I’m going to punch Lance so hard that-”

“Ooookay,” Hunk cut in, grasping Pidge by the shoulders and preventing her from attacking their friend, “I think what Pidge was trying to say is that maybe you should reconsider. This is a really big life choice.” 

Lance just shook his head. “No. I’m doing this, and I don’t care what you say. You’re either with me, or against me.”

The two friends shared a look again, having a silent conversation before mutually sighing. 

“Fine. But you’re going to need our help studying….”

~~~ 

Lance, as it turned out, was not that great at studying. 

Academics are _hard_. There’s so much stuff that could come up and you have to somehow learn it all just in case? Lance’s attention span was too short to deal with it. 

Pidge and Hunk were his saving grace. Granted, they were basically torturing him with the amount of practice papers, flashcards and surprise pop quizzes (most memorably when they charged into his bathroom whilst he was in the shower and wouldn’t leave until he got all the questions right). Without them, Lance would have inevitably given up and gone back to his usual partying lifestyle - yes, he wanted - no, _needed_ \- to get into Harvard more than anything, but there’s only so much studying his more brain could take. 

The exam itself was less stressful than any of the preparation - at least in the controlled environment of the exam hall, Pidge and Hunk were unlikely to pop up and bombard him with complicated questions. Lance felt he’d done well in it, but then again, recent events had shown him that he wasn’t quite as apt at judging things as he’d previously thought. 

When the results were delivered, the whole frat house was in a frenzy. Hunk - accompanied by Pidge who had once again snuck onto the college campus - hollered for Lance to come down, Pidge clutching the envelope in her hands. 

Once he’d raced downstairs, the letter was quickly thrust into his arms. He was almost too scared to open it - what if he’d failed? What if he just wasn’t smart enough, like everybody said? What if he never got the chance to get Nyma back again? 

“Come on, Lance. There’s nothing you can do to change the result now - just open it!” Hunk said, wrapping a supportive arm around his shoulders. 

With shaking hands, Lance pried the envelope open, unfolding the letter inside. 

“Well? What did you get?” Pidge prompted, ever impatient. Lance himself gasped, almost unbelieving. 

He spun round, facing his best friends and the rest of the frat house. “179!” He screamed, throwing the letter in Pidge’s face. 

He couldn’t believe it. He’d done it. He’d gotten enough to be considered for Harvard. Oh, god, he could _actually do this_! All he had to do now was get accepted, and then he could go to Harvard, win Nyma back, and the two could get married and live happily ever after. _It could actually work._

~~~

When Lance’s acceptance letter to Harvard Law School came, both he and Pidge fainted from pure shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was okay and not too rushed or anything! I’m hoping to get the next chapter posted on the weekend, barring any more dodgy health issues. Fingers crossed I did Hunk and Pidge justice? I'm not sure how much they're going to feature in this fic but I love them so much so I'm going to try and include them as much as possible. 
> 
> Up next: We finally meet Keith, Shiro, Coran and a bunch of minor background characters you’ve probably forgotten about.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lance starts at Harvard and is in for a shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn’t upload sooner, I totally planned to have this up by the weekend, but I was super busy and my internet keeps playing up :( I hope you enjoy this chapter! I also noticed I hadn’t introduced Lance’s dog yet? Do not fear, she will be included in this chapter. Also I realised I needed a surname for Lance and I wasn’t sure if I should go with McClain or choose something else? In the end I went with Díaz but tell me what you think!

Lance had never been as excited as he was when pulling up outside Harvard Law School, moving truck following behind and beloved pet dog in the seat next to him. He’d actually made it to _Harvard Law School_ \- his plan was going brilliantly! He wouldn’t have to be here long, just until he impressed Nyma with his intellect and she begged him to take her back - which was definitely going to happen. Lance had a full on plan, and didn’t see how it could fail. 

“Blue, look - Harvard! It’s so exciting!” He said, reaching over to pet the Chihuahua. As he stepped out and looked at the surroundings, he realised his mother was _totally_ right - everyone here looked incredibly boring and serious. Granted, Lance wasn’t one to judge on appearances, but there’s only so many awful brown polyester jumpers and badly fitting slacks he could take. Honestly, you’d think these people had never heard the word ‘colour’ in their life.  He realised he must look rather out of place in his vibrant and fun clothes, but luckily he wouldn’t have to stay here long. 

Lance looked down at Blue, who was staring up at him pitifully. “Oh, sweetheart, you must be parched! Here, let’s get you some water,” he said, bending down to fill an inflatable travel bowl using his water bottle. The dog instantly stepped forward and began lapping at the liquid. “Awh, Nyma’s gonna be so excited to see you,” He petted her a last time before directing the moving men to his new accommodation. 

“Now, don’t be scared, Blue. Everybody is going to love you,” He said, unsure if he was talking more to the dog or himself. 

~~~ 

Lance walked up to the orientation desk, giving his most charming grin to the helper behind it. “Hi! Díaz, comma, Lance,” 

The guy gave him a look before picking up his folder and handing it over. “Class schedule, map, booklists - all in here,” He said, checking Lance’s name off of his clipboard. 

Lance flipped through the folder contents before looking up. “Wait a second, my social events calendar seems to be missing?” 

“Your what?” The helper looked at him blankly. 

“Social events. You know, mixers, formals, clambakes - ooh, trips to the Cape!” The helper continued to blink in confusion. Christ, Lance thought the people here were supposed to be smart?  He shrugged it off and continued, hoping to get his plan underway as soon as possible. 

“Has Nyma Huntington III checked in yet?” He asked, waiting as the guy rolled his eyes and checked the list again. 

“Er, no. You know what? You should check with the cruise director on the Lido deck,” He said. Lance didn’t get it - what Lido deck? Huh, it must have been some inside-Harvard joke. He shrugged it off, thanked the helper for his time, and set off for his next event. 

~~~ 

“Okaaay, welcome to law school,” Some second year said, sounding like he wished he could be anywhere else but here. “This is the part where we go around in a circle and everyone says something about themselves. Let’s, er, start with you,” He said, pointing at a dorky-looking guy at the end. 

“Oh, erm...my name is Thace. I have a masters in Russian Literature, a PH.d in biochemistry, and for the last eighteen months I’ve been, uh, deworming orphans in Somalia.” The guy - Thace - said uncomfortably, before looking around awkwardly at the group leader and the girl next to him. 

“Great, awesome. How about you?” The second year said, nodding his head at the girl. 

“Hey, how you doin’? I’m Plaxum, but you can call me Plax. I have a PH.d from Berkeley in Women’s studies - with an emphasis on history of combat - and last year I single handedly organised a rally for Lesbians Against Drunk Driving. You can check it out on my blog,” She said, pushing her glasses up her nose. 

“Killer, sweet work.” The leader said, before moving on to a dopey looking guy with long blonde hair and a dodgy hat. 

“‘Sup. I’m Rolo, graduated first in my class from Princeton. I have an IQ of 187,” he said, prompting a snort from Thace, “and it’s been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his Brief History of Time from my third grade paper.” 

There were a few murmurings from the group before they all turned their attention to Lance. “Oh, is it me? Hi, I’m Lance Díaz, and this is Blue Díaz. We’re both Gemini, and I’m vegetarian. I have a Bachelor's degree in Fashion Merchandising from CULA, and I was a Zeta Lambda Nu sweetheart, and president of my fraternity, and honorary member of the Delta Nu sorority. And last year I was homecoming King. Oh! Two weeks ago, I saw Alexis Bledel, and I talked her out of buying this _truly_ ghastly angora sweater - whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed.” He grinned, holding Blue’s paw up to wave at everyone. 

Nobody had much to say after that, for some reason. 

~~~

Lance turned away from the mirror after making sure his outfit was perfect. “Wish me luck, Blue. This is my first class as a totally serious law student.” He turned back around, sliding a pair of fashionable fake glasses onto his face. He nodded as he checked out his reflection. “Totally look the part.” He smoothed down his velvet turquoise blazer and straightened his tie once more before grabbing his bag and leaving for class. 

He swerved his way through the busy corridors, waving and greeting people who walked past (nobody at Harvard seemed to be friendly, which was a shame, but at least he’d soon have Nyma). The layout of the place was unnecessarily complicated, so he was too busy looking at the map to spot her straight away. But there she was, in front of a notice board, looking as beautiful as ever in a stylish jumper and skirt combo. 

Lance couldn’t believe his luck - it was his first day and he’d already found her! He quickly put a smile on his face and straightened his back before sauntering past her, trying to subtly appear as if he hadn’t even noticed she was there. Afterall, he couldn’t appear too eager, that would totally put her off. 

“ _Lance_?” She called out in disbelief. _It was working!_ Lance spun around, surprised splashed across his features. 

“Nyma?! I totally forgot you go here,” He said, probably a bit pitchy to sound totally sincere, but he was hoping Nyma wouldn’t notice. 

Nyma looked completely confused, eyes wide and blinking. “W-what are you talking about? I’m sorry, are you here to see me?” Well, yes, but Lance wasn’t about to tell her that. 

“ _No_ , silly! I go here.” He smiled, hiking his bag further up his shoulder as Nyma processed the information. 

“Y-you go where?” Lance didn’t remember Nyma being so slow, but maybe she was just so overjoyed at seeing Lance again, she couldn’t keep up. 

“...Harvard. Law School.” He said, rolling his eyes, as if she was being stupid. Come on, was it that unbelievable that Lance could go to Harvard?

“ _You_ got into Harvard Law?” She asked disbelievingly, looking around as if this was all a prank and she was secretly being filmed. 

“What, like it’s hard?” He said, smirking, “Oh my gosh, Nyma, this’ll be so great. I’m planning this awesome mixer, you totally have to help me. I’m thinking like a luau, or maybe a casino night? This is gonna be just like senior year, except for _funner_!” Lance quickly glanced at his watch. “Oh, I have to go, time for class, but meet me after, on the benches? Okay, bye!” He waved before dashing off to the classroom. 

This was going so well already and it was only the first day!

~~~  

Lance filed into the classroom with everybody else, choosing a seat right at the front of the room (he figured that would help him seem smarter and more serious about law). He had a feeling he maybe wasn’t quite as prepared as the others when everybody pulled out their laptops, but he figured his notebook and novelty pen would do just as well. 

Their teacher, Professor Luxia, stood at the front of the class, in front of the chalkboard. “A legal education means you will learn to speak a new language. You will be taught to achieve insight into the world around you, and to sharply question all that you know.” She started, examining the room full of students. “The seat you have chosen will be yours for the next nine months. Those of you who picked the front row….beware.” Yikes, maybe Lance should have taken one further back? But then again Nyma wouldn’t have seen him all the time like she would now.

Professor Luxia was pretty darn terrifying, and she’d only been speaking for less than 5 minutes. She spoke in a loud, authoritative voice and had a stare that appeared to look into your very soul. Safe to say, Lance couldn’t wait until he got back together with Nyma and could drop the whole law student charade. 

“‘The law is reason free from passion’” She said, gesturing to the quote written in chalk on the board. “Does anybody know who spoke those immortal words?” 

One of the fellow students from the get-to-know-each other circle - Thace, if Lance remembered correctly - shot his hand up immediately. 

“Yes?” Professor Luxia asked, stepping closer to the row of desks. 

“Aristotle.” Thace said confidently, though sank back into his chair somewhat as the Professor came to stand directly in front of his desk. 

She gave a frankly terrifying smile. “Are you sure?” She asked, peering down at him. 

“...yes?” Thace replied, less confident now and glancing around awkwardly. 

“Would you be willing to stake your life on it?” She said, which Lance thought was totally over the top, especially for a first lesson. Yeesh! 

Thace thought for a moment. “I think so, yes.” 

The Professor raised her eyebrows. “What about…” she tapped the head of another student sharply with her pencil, “his life?” 

Thace’s eyes widened in alarm, looking between the Professor and the other student. “I...I don’t know.” He admitted. 

Professor Luxia raised her perfectly shaped eyebrows once again, shaking her head and tutting. “Well then, I suggest _knowing_ before speaking. The Law leaves much room for interpretation, but very little for self doubt.” She said, walking back to the front of the room, picking up the seating plan everybody had filled in on her way. 

She gave a cursory glance back, before saying, “And you were right. It was Aristotle.” Thace gave out an audible sigh. Professor Luxia started to speak again. “Now, I assume all of you have read pages one through forty-eight and are now well versed in subject matter jurisdiction.” The rest of the class opened their books are flipped to the relevant page, but Lance was totally lost. Reading? They had to do reading? Lance didn’t even have any textbooks! “Now, who can tell us about Gordon vs Steele? Let’s call on someone from the hot zone,” she said, looking down at the seating plan.

Lance prayed to every deity he knew of not to be called on - how silly would he look in front of Nyma if he couldn’t answer a question?! He began to jot random notes down in his book, hoping that by looking busy, Professor Luxia wouldn’t pick on him. He didn’t even notice the Professor standing right in front of him until she called his name. He looked up at in alarm, only to see her staring at him expectantly. He gave a small, nervous chuckle. “ _Oh_ , erm, actually I wasn’t aware that we had an assignment.” Professor Luxia laughed, and glanced once more at the seating chart before moving on - maybe she didn’t care? After all, Lance doubted that people always did summer reading assignments. 

“Keith Kogane,” The Professor called out, walking towards another desk. “Do you think it’s acceptable that Mr Díaz is not prepared?” 

Lance looked over to the student in question - and oh, _god_ , he had a mullet, _a mullet_ \- and expected to hear him stand up for his fellow student. 

Instead, the law student said, “I don’t.” 

“And would you support my decision to ask him to leave the class, and to only return once he’s fully prepared?” 

“Absolutely.” 

Lance’s draw dropped open. _What_? How could another student be so awful to another? Who did this _Keith Kogane_ think he was? What kind of name was Keith anyway? And the _hair_?  

Professor Luxia turned around to face Lance, looking at him expectantly. Keith gave a smirk and tilted his head, giving a wink. 

_What the hell?!_

Lance couldn’t believe this. He started angrily stuffing his things into his bag before storming out, hearing Professor Luxia ask Mullet Boy another question. 

~~~ 

Lance found himself plonking onto one of the benches, angrily muttering and sighing to himself. This day had started off so well, and now look. Clearly the only way to get over this was to be petty and mock Keith, which is exactly what he did. 

“Excuse me, are you...are you okay?” A voice came from behind. Lance turned, seeing a clearly older guy with black and white hair on another bench. 

“Yeah.” He sighed, before continuing, “Do they just, just put you on the spot all the time like that?” 

“The professors? Yeah, they, uh, tend to do that. Socratic method.” Annoyingly Hot Stranger With A Weird Hairstyle said. (And honestly, what was it with law students and odd hair? First there was Mullet Man, and now this guy with a severe case of frosted tips.) 

“And, and if you don’t know the answer, they just kick you out of class?!” Lance asked, still not able to process what really happened. 

The stranger chuckled. “So you have Luxia, huh?” 

Lance spun around, facing the other guy properly. “Yes! Did she do that to you, too?” 

He shook his head. “No, but she did make me cry once. Or a few times. Not in class, though, I waited until I got back to my room. She’ll kick you right in the balls. She’s tough, really tough.” 

Lance sighed. “Great.” He said, preparing himself for a year's worth of torture.

“Don’t worry, it gets better, I swear. Who else do you have?” 

He thought for a second. “I have Zarkon, Sendak and Haxus.” 

Hot Stranger nodded. “Let’s see...speak up in Zarkon’s class, he really likes people who are opinionated. Make sure you sit in the back for Sendak’s class, he spits whenever he talks about  products liability. Oh, and for Haxus? Make sure where to read the footnotes, it’s where she gets most of her exam questions.” 

Lance nodded along, taking in all the advice. Hey, maybe school wouldn’t be so hard afterall! “Wow, I’m really glad I met you,” He said, smiling at the other man. 

“Are you a third year, or?” Lance asked, wondering if he’d see more of the guy around campus. He was just about to answer when Nyma interrupted, awkwardly coming to a stop in front of Lance. 

“Hey, Lance,” She said, brushing a strand of hair from her face. 

Lance looked up and smiled. “Hi!” He turned back to the other guy. “Thanks for all your help,” he said sincerely. 

Random Attractive Guy wished him luck, and Lance got up to stand closes to Nyma. “Hey, Nyma!”

Nyma still looked a bit weirded out to see Lance here. “Hey. So….how did your first class go?”

Lance tried not to look as crushed and betrayed as he felt. “Oh, it was fine, except for this awful preppy guy who tried to make me look bad. But no biggie. How was your summer?” 

Nyma shrugged. “Good, it was good,” 

Lance was just asking if she did anything good over the summer when said awful preppy guy came up from behind and slipped an arm around Nyma’s waist. _What?_

Nyma chuckled awkwardly. “Have you, er, met Keith?” 

Mullet Guy smirked. “Hi. Keith Kogane.” 

Lance looked to Nyma in confusion. “Do you know him?” 

“He’s-” She started, only to be cut off by Keith. 

“-I’m her fiance.” 

What?

 _WHAT?!_

_Fiance?!_ No, no, this couldn’t be happening. Clearly, Lance had something wrong with his hearing. 

“I’m sorry, I just hallucinated. What?” 

“Yeah, yeah, uhm. He was my boyfriend in prep school, and, well, we got back together this summer and my grandmother’s birthday party.”

Keith gave a smarmy grin. “Nyma’s told me all about you. You’re famous at our club. But she didn’t tell me you’d be _here_ ,” he said, glaring at Nyma. 

“Pumpkin, I didn’t know she would be here,” Nyma said, 

That was it. Only Lance was called Pumpkin. This couldn’t be real. It just couldn’t. Lance didn’t come all the way to _Harvard Law School_ to find the love of his life engaged to some awful guy with an equally awful haircut. 

“Excuse me,” Lance said faintly before practically running off. 

How the hell was he meant to win Nyma back now?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gasp, shock, horror. Yes, I’ve kind of switched the character roles, and Keith is in Vivian’s role; but don’t worry, Lance and Keith absolutely do get together by the end. Shiro is just Lance’s platonic friend and law school advisor in this. Also, I know I said Coran would be in this chapter, but this was the best place to end it and I didn’t want to drag it out, but I promise he’ll be in Chapter 4. (Also, thank god for autocorrect, my poor Norwegian self still constantly dies over English tenses.) Hope you enjoyed this one!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lance gets an emergency manicure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello it is pancakedispatcher writing from beyond the grave because SDCC has killed me. So many fandoms. So many trailers. So much news. I’m dead. Also sorry about the wait I’ve been ill and feeling sorry for myself but I return! With Coran (finally)! Hope you enjoy :)

Lance was speeding down the streets of Cambridge in his car, frantically looking for something, anything that could help him in his moment of need. _Nyma was engaged!_ This was a disaster! Why did good things never happen to him?

He was just about to give up when, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a sign for a beauty parlour. Normally Lance was an excellent driver and took the rules very seriously, but this was an emergency, goddammit, so he pulled off a U-Turn in the middle of the road and swung into a space in front of the store. Several people winded their windows down to hurl abuse at him but he didn’t care - he was distressed and the only thing that could help him was a manicure. 

He jogged into Castle Cosmetics, frantically looking around before spotting a manicurists station, staffed by a man with vibrant ginger hair and perhaps the most impressive moustache Lance had ever seen. He quickly made his way over and practically collapsed into the chair, placing his hands on the table.

“Are you free?” He asked, sniffling. “It’s an emergency.” 

The man looked up from his magazine and took a bite of a croissant. “Bad day?” He asked, putting the magazine and food down. 

Lance pitifully shook his head. “The worst.” 

The manicurist took one final bite of his pastry before getting his tools out. “Well, come on then, spill, eh?” He said, assembling his equipment on the table. 

“It’s just, I worked so hard to get into law school,” Lance started, crying somewhat now, “I missed Greek Week and so many frat parties to study for my LSATS, and I even hired someone to film my admissions video, just so I could get my amazing girlfriend, Nyma, back, and it turns out she’s _engaged_ to some horrible guy named _Keith_ , so it was all for nothing, and I just….I just wish that I-that I’d never even tried to get into Harvard. I’m so _stupid_.” He blurted out in a rush, tears properly falling down his face now. God, his eyes were going to look so puffy afterwards, and that’s the last thing he needed. 

The manicurist - Lance peered at his name tag and saw that it read _‘Coran’_ \- shook his head sympathetically, beginning to work on Lance’s nails. “Crikey, and after you went to all that trouble, too!” 

“She’s _engaged!_ Keith's got the ring on his bony, unmoisturized finger and it’s not _fair_. What am I supposed to do?” Lance asked Coran desperately. 

Coran shook his head and made a tutting noise. “You’re asking the wrong man there, my boy! I was with my partner eight years, and then one day she was all, ‘Oh, I’ve met someone else! Move out.’ Why, Arus kept the trailer _and_ my precious baby Lion,” He said, holding up a framed picture of a dog with a fake moustache stuck on his face. “I didn’t even get to through my previous boy a birthday party this year,”

“ _No_ ,” Lance said, outraged. He couldn’t imagine not being able to pamper Blue. 

Coran shrugged sadly. “Ah, well, what’s a man to do, eh? Arus followed her...heart to greener pastures, and I’m just an engineering school drop out.”

“That’s awful,” Lance said shaking his head. 

“Yup. It happens every day, lad”  Coran said, still working on Lance’s nails. “So, what's this Keith boy have that you don’t, eh?” 

Lance sighed. “He’s from _Connecticut_. He belongs to some stupid country club with Nyma.” 

“Hm. Is he better looking than you?” 

He thought about it. “He could use some tan, and his hair cut is _seriously_ ghastly - a mullet, Coran, a mullet! - but….he’s not completely horrific.”

Just then, a post carrier walked in, smiling at the staff and patrons before making eye contact with Coran. The poor man looked like a rabbit caught in headlights and gave a truly awkward smile back before accidently knocking his pot of water all over the desk. 

“Oh, crumbs, look what I’ve done now,” he said, trying to mop up the water and looking up to smile again at the post carrier just as she walked out of the shop. 

Coran sighed dramatically. “Oh, cripes! Could I have acted like any more of a drongo?!” 

Bless, Coran clearly had a little crush on the post carrier (Lance had to admit she was rather pretty). “Aw, it’s okay,” Lance said consolingly, helping Coran to get rid of the spilled water. 

“Are you sure this Nyma lass is, y'know, _the_ one?”

“Absolutely. I lover her.” 

“Well, if a strapping young lad like you can’t hold on to a girl, there’s no hope for any of us. What are you waiting for, huh? Steal her back! This Keith kid has nothing on you,”

Lance knew Coran was right - he still had a chance. Lance’s mere presence would show Nyma how much she missed him, and how awful Keith was in comparison. Lance was known to never back down from a challenge, and this wasn’t going to be an exception. 

~~~ 

“I should warn you all that in the class, you won’t _just_ be competing against each other for the top grade - you will also be competing for one of my firm’s highly competitive four internships next year, where you will be able to assist on actual cases.” Professor Zarkon, another one of Lance’s law professors, said, causing a wave of muttering and excitement to go through the class. “Well. Let the bloodbath begin,” he finished, receiving laughter from the students. 

“Now, let us commence with the usual torture,” the man said, perching on the edge of his desk and reading through the seating chart. “Mr Díaz…” He called out. _God, not again!_ Why did professors insist on picking Lance out? “Would you rather have a client who committed a crime malum in se, or malum prohibitum?”

Yeaaah….Lance didn’t have a clue what that meant. He really should check out his text books some time. “Neither,” Lance finally said. 

“And why would that be?”

“I would rather have a client who’s innocent,” He answered, because, hey, it was true! Why defend a client who you _knew_ committed a crime? He didn’t know why the rest of the class burst into laughter. 

“Ah, dare to dream, Mr Díaz. Mr Kogane, which would you prefer?” Professor Zarkon asked. 

“Malum prohibitum,” Keith said, turning around briefly to smirk at Lance, “because then the client would have committed a regulatory infraction rather than a dangerous crime.” He said confidently. 

“Well done, Mr Kogane - you’ve clearly done your homework,”  Professor Zarkon said, just as Keith put his arm around Nyma and glared back at Lance. _Ugh, what a douche_. 

Well, this just wasn’t going to stand. Lance raised his hand, interrupting the professor. 

“Yes, Mr Díaz?” Zarkon sighed. 

“I’ve changed my mind. I’d pick the dangerous one….because unlike some people, I’m not afraid of a challenge.” Lance threw his own smirk at Keith.

Oh, it was _on_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter was shorter than usual but I felt like it was a good place to end, but I’ll make sure to update again this week. I hope you enjoyed this chapter? It’s more of a filler and one to introduce Coran but I promise there’s more plot in the next chapter. Thanks to everyone who’s left kudos and comments! :) 
> 
> Up next: Keith is a dick, Lance goes to a party, and Coran gets his baby back


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nyma is horrible, Keith is mean, and Lance totally kicks butt at law.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I’ll update before the weekend   
> Me to me: or you could procrastinate and cry over star trek  
> Me: shit you’re right

The library at Harvard was _huge_. Lance was pretty sure he’d never seen so many books in his entire life _combined_. It smelt damp and musty and Lance pade a promise then and there to spend as little time in the place as possible, but at that moment in time he was on a mission. 

In order to show Nyma what a smart and serious lawyer he was, Lance needed to join their study group. Even though Keith (ugh) would also be there, he figured nobody would say no if he turned up with snacks (Lance had learned a thing or two about baking from Hunk, and could make a mean batch of muffins). 

He approached the table, wicker basket in hand. “Hi, everybody,”

Nyma looked up in alarm. “L-Lance? What are you doing here?” She asked, sharing a look with the other members of the table. 

“I came to join your study group,” He said, giving his most charming grin. “Look, I bought sustenance! Who’s first?” 

Keith shook his head, glaring at both Nyma and Lance. “No, our group is full.” He said, despite there clearly being a couple of free chairs around the table. 

_Ugh_ , why did he have to be such a dick? “Oh...is it, like, an RSVP thing?”

“No, it’s like a _smart people_ thing,” Some blonde girl sneered, causing the rest of the group to laugh. Well, that was just uncalled for - Lance was smart! Maybe not be their elitist, snooty country-club standards but being book smart wasn’t the only form of intelligence. 

“Come on, guys - couldn’t we make room for one more?” Nyma said, looking pointedly at the empty chairs. _Yes!_ Clearly Nyma still had feelings for Lance, otherwise she wouldn’t be sticking up for him! 

Lance’s hopes were immediately shot down when Keith replied with, “We’ve already assigned the outlines. The answer is no.”

Well that freaking sucked. Clearly Lance wasn’t going to impress Nyma with Keith around. “Oh...okay. I’ll, uh, just leave then….” 

He walked off from the table, passing a series of other groups before Plaxum, the blog writing girl from his intro group, piped up. “Hey, maybe there’s, like, a fraternity you could, like, join instead, like?” She said in a high pitched, nasally voice, clearly trying to mimic him. 

“You know, if you’d come to rush or a party, I’d have been nice to you,”

Plax snorted. “Right, and is that before or after you’d vote against me and call me a dyke behind my back?” 

Did Lance give of homophobic straight guy vibes? On account of his being bisexual, he didn’t think many people would assume that about him…. “I don’t use that word. You must have heard it from Keith” He said, before storming out of the library and back to his room. 

~~~  
Back in his room, Lance bundled up in his favourite fluffy bathrobe, snuggled with Blue and grabbed his phone. 

“ _Hello?_ ” Hunk’s voice said. 

“Hey, it’s me,” Lance tried not to sound too sorry for himself, but today had totally sucked. 

Lance heard some excited mutterings from the phone. “ _Lance, guess what I’m doing right now_?”

He shrugged before realising Hunk couldn’t see him. “I don’t know, dude, what?”

“ _Picking out my wedding suit! I proposed to Shay and she said yes!_ ” Oh. Lance was totally happy for Hunk, really, that guy was a literal ray of sunshine and deserved all the happiness in the world, but he had to admit it was a bit of a kick in the gut. 

“ _Did you get that stupid ring yet_?” Pidge’s voice rang out from the phone. Yikes, what was Lance meant to say now? He didn’t want to rain on Hunk’s parade by being all woe-is-me.

“Uhm, yeah. Almost.” 

“ _Well hurry up so you can come back here. Hunk misses you, and I miss having someone to mercilessly insult._ ”

Lance snorted. “Yeah, I miss you too, gremlin. The people here are so vile, hardly anybod-”

Hunk grabbed the phone back. “ _Okay, so make sure to keep June 1st open, you’re totally my best man. And tell Nyma we say hi - you two are gonna be back together in no time_!” 

And then Hunk abruptly hung up. 

Lance was just about to give up for the day and go to sleep, when he heard the words he’d been craving for ever since he got to Harvard. 

“So, don’t forget. 8 o’Clock at 6 Dunston Street. It’ll be a really nice party.”

A party! Hell yeah, this was just what Lance needed to get his spirits up. 

Lance burst out of his room. “No way! Is someone at this school….” of course, of course it was Keith throwing the party, “...actually having a party?”

“Yes.” Keith said, once again with the blonde girl whose name Lance still didn’t know. “But you probably wouldn’t be interested…..it’s a costume party”

_No way!_ Lance loved costume parties more than anything. Maybe Keith didn’t have totally bad taste after all? 

“I _love_ costume parties!” 

Keith shrugged. “Well, I guess we’ll see you there. 6 Dunston street, ok?”

~~~

If there’s one thing Lance rocked, it was costume parties. Mostly, he and Hunk (and Pidge, if they could bribe her enough) went in awesome pun-related costumes, but Lance knew this was _not_ the time for that. He and Nyma met at a costume party at college (his Twister outfit had been a work of art), so this was for sure the perfect opportunity to grab her attention. 

He just needed the right costume. 

There were so many _options_ , and Lance could totally get creative when he needed to (he was, afterall, a fashion major), but he figured most people would be in pretty boring, unimaginative costumes. He didn’t want to stand out _too_ much, but he couldn’t risk blending in with the crowds. 

Then it struck him - why not go with a total classic look? One that was recognisable but still dramatic and eye catching…..

Lance was totally going as Dr. Frank-N-Furter. 

 

~~~ 

Lance wasn’t stupid, contrary to popular belief. He knew when he walked into the party, filled with people dressed in totally normal clothes, that Keith had totally played him. 

_Oh my god, this_ cannot _be happening_. 

“Oh my god, this _cannot_ be happening,” Plax said, echoing his sentiments exactly. 

Lance was aware he looked like an idiot - everyone was dressed in their usual polyester jumpers, and there Lance was in a freaking corset and stockings. Everyone was staring and sniggering at him, which maybe would have gotten to him before but after a couple of weeks at Harvard, he was used to it. 

He decided then and there that if he was in this position, he may as well own it. 

He sauntered up to Keith and….Blonde Person ( _man_ , he really needed to get her name at some point), hands on his hips. When he saw Lance, Mullet Man spat his drink out. 

“Nice outfit,” He choked out, clearly trying not to burst into laughter. 

“Aw, thanks. I like your outfit, too - except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.” 

And with that, Lance walked off to find Nyma. 

He found her receiving a lecture on the subliminal sexism of the English language from Plaxum (which actually sounded really interesting, and Lance made a note to ask Plax about it later), looking incredibly bored. 

“Hi, Nyma!” He called out, watching her spin around and widen her eyes as she saw his outfit. 

“Well, don’t you look like a walking felony,” She quipped, leaning against the pool table. 

Lance laughed. “Aw, you’re too sweet. Are you having fun?” 

“Well, I’d say that I am now...what’s with the costume, huh?” She asked, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow. 

“Oh, you know, just decided to mix it up a little. Down with conforming to society's outdated dress code and all that,” He said, hearing a _‘Hell yeah!’_ from Plaxum across the room in response. 

Nyma just laughed in response. 

“It’s good to talk to you - it feels like we never really see each other since we’ve been here.”

Nyma nodded, taking a sip from her plastic cup. “Right? I’ve been so busy with these case studies, it’s insane.” 

“I know what you mean. I can’t even begin to imagine doing all of this _and_ Zarkon’s internship. That’s just gonna be, like, _so_ much.” 

Nyma looked surprised, which Lance found odd - everyone in their class had their eye on those internship spaces. “Oh, Lance, c’mon - you’ll never get the grades for that.” She said. “You’re just not smart enough, honey,”

_Uh, what?_ Lance took a step back. “Am I on LSD, or did we not get into the exact same law school?”

“Well, sure, but-”

“But what? We took the same LSATs, and we’re taking the same classes.” Lance had worked just as hard as anybody else and he deserved to be here, even if it wasn’t for the same reasons as everyone else. God, he was so sick of people assuming he was some kind of idiot. 

Nyma put her hands up. “I know, but come on Lance….you could be doing something more valuable with your time. Something you’re good at.” 

“I’m never gonna be good enough for you, am I?” Lance said quietly. He’d probably always known that, deep down, but he buried the thought under memories of trips to the beach and dinner dates and watching movies together. He loved Nyma, but she didn’t love him back. And she probably never would, not on the same level. Could Lance really change that much of himself, pretend to be someone he wasn’t, just for a girl? 

He decided he couldn’t, and stormed out of the party.  

~~~ 

Shiro - Professor Zarkon’s teaching assistant and the hot stranger who helped Lance on his first day - found Lance later, in line to buy a laptop - still in his costume. 

Lance sighed. “I’m begging you. Don’t ask.” 

Shiro laughed. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to.”

_Great_ , as if this night couldn’t get any more embarrassing. 

~~~ 

Lance had decided that instead of trying to win Nyma back - which clearly wasn’t going to happen - he was going to do the next best thing; get revenge. 

He’d heard somewhere that the best way to get revenge was prove someone wrong, and that was just what Lance was going to do. He was going to be the best lawyer he possible could. He may as well - he was at Harvard Law School, after all. (And he figured a law degree would look nice on his bedroom wall).

He threw himself into studying, actually completing assignments and taking notes from his billions of textbooks. His grades were actually going up, and he even became on good terms with Plaxum, who often helped him get down books from the top shelves in the library. 

In class, Lance not only understood what was being said, but actively participated in class discussions. For example, just the other day when Professor Luxia had asked how to proceed in a case, Lance had confidently answered with, “You need reasonable belief that your claim has evidenciary support.” The look on not only his professors face, but also the people in his class, had been totally worth the nights he spent studying well into the early hours of the morning. 

In fact, he even scored his first ‘client’, in the form of Coran. 

The two had driven up to Coran’s old caravan - now occupied by Arus - with one goal in mind: to get Coran’s pet dog, Lion, back. 

“Are you ready?” Lance asked Coran, who had become a close friend and confidant during Lance’s time at Harvard. 

Coran sighed. “If I’m honest, lad, not really - this entire situation is giving me the slipperies!” 

“C’mon, Coran - you _are_ ready. You can do this!”

Coran eventually got out of the car, and Lance watched as his friend knocked on the door of the caravan. It swung open to reveal an...interesting looking woman, clad in a truly hideous, two-piece orange tracksuit that was several sizes too small for her. 

“What the hell do you want?” She asked, chewing loudly on some gum and looking wholly unimpressed. 

“I j-just thought, er…” Coran stuttered, clearly not at all prepared. 

Arus snorted. “You just what? Thought you’d come down here and show me what I’m not missing?”

Coran stumbled over his words again, looking completely lost. Lance knew he had to step in and help his friend, who was falling apart more and more by the second. He slipped on some totally fake glasses (hey, they made him look smarter, okay?) and strolled up to the caravan. 

“Arus Newcombe?” He asked, standing with his arms crossed. 

Arus looked up and narrowed her eyes. “Who’s asking?”

“I’m Lance Díaz, Mister Smythe’s attorney, and I’m here to….discuss the legal situation at hand.” He tried to sound more confident than he felt - this was his first time speaking legal jargon out of class, and he needed to do it right, for Coran’s sake. 

“Come again?” Arus asked, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. 

Lance cleared his throat. “Do you know what subject matter jurisdiction is, Miss Newcombe?” He asked, picking legal terms at random. 

“Er….no.” Arus replied, which is what Lance had been banking on - he could probably sprout totally random legal words and she wouldn’t know any better. 

Lance gave a small, insincere smile. “I didn’t think so. Well, due to….Habeas Corpus…” _Come on Lance, you can do this!_ , “you and Mister Smythe had a common law marriage, which heretofore...entitles him to what is legally referred to as….equitable division of the assets.” 

“Come again?”

“Due to the fact you’ve retained this….residence, Mister Smythe is entitled to….full canine property ownership, and will be enforcing said ownership…..right now. Tell him, Coran.”

Arus laughed, clearly not expecting Coran to own up to her, but the manicurist turned around and raised his head defiantly. “I’m taking the dog, you flaming galah,” He said, storming into the caravan and returning with an armful of dog. 

“We did it!” Lance exclaimed as the three of them bundled into the car triumphantly. 

Coran hugged Lion close to his chest, laughing and crying. He turned his face towards Lance. “Thank you, lad. What would I do without you, eh?” 

Huh. Being a lawyer felt pretty damn good. Lance actually used his knowledge - even if he did make up half the terms or use them incorrectly - for good, and helped someone. Is this what it was like being a lawyer? Lance could actually see himself doing this as a career, and _enjoying_ it.

~~~

“Well, according to Swinney vs Neubert…” Nyma spoke, answering a question posed by professor Zarkon, “...Swinney, who was also a private sperm donor, was allowed visitation rights, as long as he came to terms with the hours set in place by the legal parents. So, if one was to stick to past precedent, Mister Latimer wasn’t stalking, and was clearly within his rights to ask for visitation.

Professor Zarkon was leaning against his desk at the front. “But Swinney was a one time donor, whereas our defendant was a habitual sperm donor, who also happened to be harassing the parents in his quest for visitation rights.” 

“Well, yes, but without his sperm, the child in question wouldn’t even exist.”

Zarkon smiled at Nyma. “Now you’re thinking like a lawyer.”

Lance had been reading up on this case, and so thought for a moment before raising his hand. 

“Yes, Mister Díaz?” Professor Zarkon asked. 

Lance took a deep breath. “Although Miss Huntington makes an excellent point, I have to wonder if the defendant kept a thorough record of every sperm emission that he made throughout his lifetime.”

The class broke out into quiet laughter. “Interesting.” The Professor said. “Why do you ask?”

“Unless the defendant attempted to contact every one night stand to determine if a child resulted in...those unions, he would have no parental claim over this child whatsoever. Why now? Why _this_ sperm?” He said. 

Professor Zarkon raised an eyebrow. “I see your point.”

Lance continued. “And for that matter, all masburatory emissions where his sperm was clearly not seeking an egg could be classed as recklessness abandonment.”

There was silence throughout the classroom for a moment before Zarkon gave a rare smile. “I believe, Mr Díaz, that you just won your first case.” 

_Woah._ Lance actually won a case, using correct legal terms - he knew what he was talking about and everything! He was actually pretty good at this lawyer thing. 

Professor Zarkon stopped him as the class filed out of the room. “Mister Díaz, you did well today.”

Lance couldn’t believe it. Zarkon rarely gave out compliments, and never to Lance. 

“Really?” He asked, in disbelief. 

Zarkon put his book down. “You’re applying for my internship, aren’t you?” 

Lance wasn’t sure. He’d been thinking about it, but what Nyma had said at the party had really shaken his confidence. “I don’t know…”

“Well, you should. Have you got a resume?” 

“Oh! Yes, I do,” Lance said, reaching down to his shoulder bag and fishing out a pink sheet of paper. He handed it to his Professor. 

“It’s...pink?” Zarkon asked, somewhat confused. 

Lance nodded. “Oh, and it’s scented! It gives it a little something extra, don’t you think?” Lance smiled and said his goodbyes, walking out of the classroom. 

He was just about to turn to walk to his dorm building, when a hand on his arm stopped him. He turned around to see Keith standing awkwardly next to him. 

“That was, er, really good in there, today.” He mumbled, the tips of his ears stained pink. Lance opened his mouth to reply, but the other guy had already marched off and disappeared into the swarm of students. 

Huh. Maybe Keith wasn’t as totally horrible and stuck up as he thought?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I totally didn’t upload last week like I said I would, but this is a little longer so hopefully I’m not totally awful. I realised I hadn’t actually introduced Shiro by name until this chapter so let’s just pretend that I did, okay? I’ve no idea when the next chapter will be up, because I’m away all this weekend (with no internet!!) so I’m going to actually miss the release of season 3?! So when I get back I’m legit just gonna binge watch it . But hopefully I’ll be able to upload next week! Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lance shows Nyma up, Keith and Lance don't despise each other, and Allura looks great in a jumpsuit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo….season 3, eh? I have too many emotions to even begin talking about it.  Anyway, I return with another chapter - hope you enjoy! (p.s hope you like dialogue because it’s like 95% of this chapter sorry not sorry)

Okay, the hallways of Harvard were usually busy - how could they not be, what with hundreds of students? - but this was ridiculous. 

Lance had just been on his way back from the Library before finding the hallway totally blocked by a giant crowd of students all looking intently at….the wall? 

He saw Thace at the edge of the crowd and inched his way over. “What’s happening?” He asked, raising his voice to be heard above the crowd. 

Thace briefly glanced at Lance before returning to try and see above the throng of students. “Zarkon’s firm is defending a murder trial, and the caseload is so much that  he’s taking on first year interns!” He said, now standing on tiptoes. 

“He picked them already?” Lance asked incredulously, earning an enthusiastic nod from Thace. This was _so cool!_ Lance could just imagine it now, working at a proper law firm and helping with an actual case and….Lance made himself stop there, not wanting to get his hopes up. He was smart, he knew this despite what others thought of him, but so was everybody else in his class, and they’d been preparing for law school for years. Nobody took him seriously, so what were the chances of him earning a place? 

“I can’t believe it, Keith! We both got in!” He heard Nyma exclaim from the front of the crowd. Lance rolled his eyes - well of course _they_ did, Keith was super smart (even if he and Lance didn’t get on, Lance was big enough to recognise Keith’s talent) and Nyma was, well, a total teachers pet.

Lance fought his way through the wall of fellow students, squeezing to the front. He quickly scanned the list, wandering who else got a place, when…..

No. _No way_. 

Lance blinked several times, making sure he wasn’t seeing things - but no, there it was! 

_Lance Díaz._

He couldn’t believe it - he got in! Zarkon had actually given him, Lance, a place at an _actual_ law firm to help an _actual_ client. 

This was….this was _insane_. Lance didn’t think he’d ever been happier. This was proof that he was actually good at something, actually appreciated and respected, proof that he wasn’t just some dumb kid from California. 

It was proof that everybody who had ever dismissed him or told him he was stupid or a joke was _wrong_. 

Lance didn’t know if he wanted to cry or laugh or dance but he settled for plastering a massive grin on his face. He received a few incredulous looks from the other students - namely Plax, who seemed to be unable to believe that she’d be working with Lance of all people. 

He shot a victorious smirk at Nyma, making his way over. “Oh, Nyma, do you remember those four….amazing hours we spent in the hot tub after winter formal?”

Nyma’s eyes widened a bit. “Yeah - I mean, uh, no. No.” She said, casting a glance at Keith who was looking at Lance with mild respect rather than anything else.

“Mmhm, yeah, well, this? This is _so_ much better than that,” He said, unable to keep the smile off his face. “Now, excuse me, I have some shopping to do!” He chirped, walking past them and giving himself a mental high five for totally showing Nyma that _she_ was the stupid one for ever underestimating Lance. 

Now all he had to do was find some totally amazing outfits for the internship. 

~~~ 

Lance was the most excited he had ever been on the first morning of the internship. He’d never even entertained the idea of become a _Lawyer_ of all things, and yet now he was at law school at interning at an actual law firm, he couldn’t imagine doing anything else with his life.

The building itself was super impressive, made of sleek marble tiles and floor-to-ceiling windows, and was bustling with activity as employees rushed around carrying heavy files. Lance took the lift to the correct floor, double checking his appearance in the mirrored walls - he’d gone for a simple suit in his signature colour, blue, and couldn’t help but think he looked like an actual professional. 

He stepped out of the lift only to be faced immediately with Nyma and Keith. Nyma looked highly awkward, glancing between Lance and Keith, and quickly walked away from the two and into the conference room, leaving Keith and Lance alone. 

Lance decided that over the course of this internship, he’d try to be as civil as possible. He didn’t even think Keith was _that_ bad, really - sure, at the start he’d been totally awful but the two had since mellowed and often made awkward small talk when standing outside of class. Anyway, they were working together now and couldn’t really afford to be fighting all the time. 

“You look nice,” He said, truthfully if not somewhat awkward. And Keith did - gone were the awful stuffy jumpers and slacks, replaced instead by a form fitted black suit that complimented him so well Lance could almost, _almost_ , forget the mullet. 

Keith blinked several times. “I, uh….thank you.” He said, an eyebrow raised in confusion. 

“You’re welcome,” Lance said, and the two of them made their way to the conference room side by side. 

~~~

Zarkon himself came into the room once everyone was seated, placing a stack of case files onto the table. 

“We’re defending Allura Windham,” He started, addressing the room, “whose very wealthy husband was found shot to death in their Beacon Hill mansion.” 

“Gold digger?” Keith asked, voicing the same thought that everybody around the table was having. 

Zarkon shook his head. “You’d think so, since the victim was sixty, but she was rich on her own. Some sort of beauty guru with a mass online following.”

Lance blinked. Surely he couldn’t be talking about…..

“Sorry, are you talking about Allura _Altea_?” He asked. 

Zarkon put his glasses back on, glancing over the file. “Maiden name, Altea.” He took his glasses off and looked at Lance. “Do you know her?”

Lance grinned. “Uh, _yeah_. She’s a Delta Nu! I was an honorary member of their sorority. She wasn’t in my pledge class ‘cause she graduated four years before me, but I took one of her make up classes at my local salon and she’s _amazing_.”

“Amazing? How?” Zarkon asked.

“Her contouring techniques can make _anyone_ look like a supermodel. She’s completely gifted,” He enthused, ignoring the judgmental looks from some of the people in the room. 

“Well, it’s likely that she’s completely gifted. She was found standing over the victim's body.” 

Nyma looked up. “By who?” She asked. 

“By his twenty six year old daughter, _and_ the pool boy,” Zarkon informed her, prompting everyone to add the information to their notes. 

Just then, the doors opened and Shiro of all people walked in. “Hi, sorry I’m late,” He said, placing his briefcase down on the table and taking a seat. 

“Everyone, this is Shiro, another associate, top three in his class, and former editor of ‘Harvard Law Review’. You’ve probably seen him lurking around campus,”

Well, now Lance felt like a bit of an idiot. He’d thought Shiro was a third year student, not a fully graduated associate. 

“So, what about the murder weapon?” Keith asked. 

“Missing. Coroner said he’d been dead about thirty minutes when the cops arrived, giving Allura plenty of time to stash it.” 

This whole situation just didn’t sit right with Lance. “I just don’t think Allura could have done this. She’s always so nice and happy, and happy people just don’t kill their husbands.” 

~~~

“I didn’t do it,” Allura said, sat on one of the plastic chairs the prison provided. Somehow, she still managed to look stunning, even in an ill-fitting orange jumpsuit. “I walked in. I saw my husband lying on the floor, and I bent down to check his pulse, and when I couldn’t find one, I screamed my head off. Then Enrique and Haggar came in.”

Zarkon sighed, clearly not believing her. “Okay, so your step daughter and pool boy came in, where they found you standing over his body, covered in blood.” 

“I got blood on me when I tried to find a pulse! Why would I kill my husband?” She exclaimed. 

“Insurance, love affair, pure unadulterated hatred,” Professor Zarkon listed off. “Trust me, the D.A will come up with plenty of reasons.” 

Allura glared at him. “I loved him,” she stated simply, ignoring the disbelieving looks from the room. 

“He was thirty four years older than you. That doesn’t look so good to a jury, now does it?” 

“Then show them a picture of his dick. That might clear a few things up,” She sneered. Lance’s eyes widened and he and Keith shared an amused glance, both of them trying not to laugh at Allura’s bluntness. 

“Allura, I believe you,” Zarkon started, clearly not believing her at all, “but a jury is going to want an alibi.”

“Well, I can’t give you that. And if you put me on the stand? I’m going to have to lie.” Allura said adamantly, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. 

“Well, it looks like we’re done for today.” Zarkon said, grabbing his briefcase. The others followed his lead, picking up their things and making their way towards the door. 

Lance followed them but smiled at Allura, wondering if she’d recognise him. 

“Wait,” Allura said, tilting her head to the side. “I know you,” 

Lance nodded enthusiastically. “I’m an honorary Delta Nu, and was a member of their companion fraternity. I’m a _huge_ fan of yours,” He said. 

Allura’s face cleared of confusion. “You took my class in L.A! You had the best highlighting skills that I had ever seen,” She said, mirroring Lance’s smile. “Are you one of my lawyers?” She asked.

“Erm, yeah, sort of!” Lance answered, holding his brief case up a little. 

“Well, thank goodness one of you has a brain,” She smirked, before being taken away by a prison guard. 

Lance may have been new at the whole Lawyer thing, but he knew for sure Allura was innocent, and he was going to do anything he could to prove it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is way shorter than I was hoping but my internet is crashing every five mins and I wanted to get something up asap. Yay, we finally met Allura! I hope this was okay? I have no idea when I’ll be posting next cause I get my A Level results next week (and find out if I get into university or not, YIKES), so I’ll probably be really busy and either super happy or super disappointed so we shall see. Hopefully next weekend though? Thank you all for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Coran learns the Bend and Snap, Allura tells the truth, and Lance and Keith have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woops was totally planning on uploading this sooner but last week was craaazy (I got into uni??? I leave in like 4 weeks!! And also i binge watched defenders ngl), but I return with Lance/Keith bonding as an apology. Hope you enjoy!

Coran was busy giving Lance’s nails a much needed manicure when the salon door opened, the mail carrier that Coran not-so-subtly had a crush on walking in. 

She approached the front desk, a large box tucked under her arm. “Package for Coran Smythe?” 

Coran choked a little, looking at Lance in alarm. _It’s her_ , he mouthed, eyes widened in panic. The receptionist pointed the mail carrier over, and she made her way over to Coran’s work station. 

“Be cool, relax,” Lance said in a hushed whisper, hoping Coran wouldn’t totally freak like he did every time he saw this woman. 

“Hey,” The woman said as she came to the work station. “I’ve got a package,” She held the electronic signing device out to Coran. 

Lance raised his eyebrows at Coran, who unfortunately seemed to have had some sort of mental breakdown and was frozen in place, refusing to look up from the table. 

The mail carrier awkwardly stood there for a few seconds, before presenting the device to Lance instead, who hastily gave his signature. He tried to make eye contact with Coran, but the manicurist was still in some sort of embarrassment-fueled trance. In the end, Lance gave Coran’s leg a sharp kick, which caused him to jolt upright. Seeing this, the mail carrier gave Coran a beautiful smile, which he returned awkwardly. 

“How you doing today?” She asked, her hip leaning against the table as she pocketed the signing device. 

“F-fine,” Coran stuttered out, starting to regain his ability to speak, and looking down at the table again. 

The mail carrier bent over slightly, catching Coran’s eyesight and giving him another smile. “Take it easy, yeah?” She said, before standing upright and strutting away. 

“Wow, that’s great, Coran. Is that the only interaction you two have had?” Lance said, rolling his eyes. 

“Why, of course not! Sometimes I say ‘Ok’ instead of ‘Fine’,” 

Lance sighed. “Well, why don’t you offer her a cold beverage, or...oooh, a neck massage!” He grinned, totally making it his mission to get these two together. 

Coran shook his head. “What good would that do?” 

Lance rolled his eyes yet again. “Uh, _duh_ , she’s totally into you! Even a blind person could see that. You just need to...act more confident and, like, available in front of her,” 

“How would I do that? I turn into a right dipstick whenever I’m in the same room as her!” Coran exclaimed. He wasn’t wrong - Lance had never seen anyone turn into as much of a mess before. It was somewhat endearing, if not totally exasperating - those two would be perfect for eachother! 

Lance thought for a moment, before gasping. “That’s it! Coran, I’m going to show you a little manoeuvre that my mum taught me in junior high. In my experience, it has a 98% chance of being successful - if she’s interested in men, and most importantly, interested in you, this is _bound_ to affect her,” 

Coran’s eye widened. “Well, go on lad, what is it?” 

“It’s called the Bend And Snap. Watch this,” Lance said, getting out of the chair. 

He walked into the center of the salon. “Okay, so, you pretend there’s something on the floor you need, like, ‘ _Oh no, I dropped something on the floor!_ ’, and then you bend….” Lance bent over so that his torso was facing downwards, and his backside was in the air, “....and snap!” He said, straightening up. “Get it?”

Coran looked a tad dubious. “Come on, you try it!” Lance said, watching as Coran sighed and walked over to Lance. “Go on, bend and snap!” 

Coran’s knees awkwardly bent as he almost folded in on himself, and then his arms flailed wildly as he snapped back up. 

Lance pulled a face. “Uhm, right, okay, a little _less_ bend, and a little _more_ snap,” 

A woman getting her hair treated at a workstation behind them got up. “Like this?” She said, and then attempted the maneuver. 

“Woah, great snap!” Lance said, earning a smile from the woman. Soon more people from the salon got up, attempting the bend and snap. 

Someone turned up the music and before he knew it, Lance was leading a Bend and Snap workshop (his mother would be so proud). Lance gave several demonstrations, shouting out compliments and critique as virtually the entire salon tried to perfect the move. Lance looked over, and - _yes!_ \- Coran had finally got the hang of it! 

“Oh my _god_ , the Bend and Snap! Works every time,” Fabio, the salons makeup and hair stylist, said as he walked into the room. 

~~~

“Well, if Allura didn’t kill the guy, then who did?” Shiro asked, passing around the boardroom. Those working on the case were crowded around the large table, pouring over files and evidence. 

“My money's on the angry daughter, or the ex-wife,” Lance said, trying to think of plausible motives. 

Zarkon shook his head. “Haggar has a trust fund - she doesn’t need the insurance pay off or the inheritance,” He said. 

Lance crossed Haggar’s name off of his list, sighing - Zarkon was right, what motive did she have to kill her father?

“What about the ex?” William, a partner at the firm, asked. At this rate, if it wasn’t her, they were stuck - Allura would be the only plausible suspect. 

“She has an alibi - she was in Aspen at the time,” Zarkon said, taking a bite of his chinese takeaway before looking back up. “Keith, get me some plum sauce,”  He said, waving his chopsticks around. “Ten people saw her downing cosmopolitans at the Caribou Club,”

“Well, all I know is that it wasn’t Allura,” Lance said. He was certain - Allura just couldn’t kill anybody, let alone her husband. 

Zarkon snorted. “That’s touching, Lance, but we need an actual alibi,” He said dismissively.

Well, Lance was just going to have to get one, then, wasn’t he?

~~~ 

Lance picked up the phone in the booth, sitting across from Allura . “I bought you some necessities,” He said, watching her through the glass, “Let’s see….the entire Clinique skincare line, some _amazing_ aromatherapy candles, and The Bible,” He said, holding up the latest issue of Vogue. 

Allura grinned at him. “You’re an angel,” She said, tucking a strand of white hair behind her ear. 

“So, how are you? Are you alright? You look so….” Lance tried to come up with the right word to describe her, “...orange.” 

“I’m just glad it’s you and not Zarkon,” Allura sneered out the name, pulling a face of disgust. 

“He means well. He’s very brilliant,” Lance said, trying to defend his boss (even though, yes, he could be an arse). 

Allura scoffed. “Yes, well, he better be, considering how much I’m paying him,”

Lance sighed. He knew this was going to be a difficult conversation. “Listen, Allura, I have to tell you the real reason I came here. Professor Zarkon says we really, _really_ need your alibi,” 

He watched as Allura went pale and bit her lip. “Lance, I can’t. You don’t understand,” Her voice broke, tears filling her eyes. 

“Who could understand better than me?” He asked, hoping Allura would trust him. He wanted more than anything to be able to prove her innocence, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to without a solid alibi. 

Allura’s lips trembled. “It’s so shameful,” She whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. 

“Whatever it is, Allura, it could save you,” 

Allura shook her head violently. “No, that’s just it, Lance. It would ruin me!” She said forcefully, trying to wipe the tears from her face. 

“How?” Lance asked, confused. It can’t have been anything that bad - probably just an affair or something by the way Allura was talking, and that would hardly be the end of her career. Celebrities got caught up in these sorts of scandals all the time. 

The makeup guru sighed in defeat. “I make a living out of perfecting people's makeup techniques and boosting their self esteem,  telling them that they don’t need to physically change themselves to be beautiful. That they should wear makeup for them, not for anybody else.”

Lance nodded. “Your contouring workshop seriously changed my life,” He said. 

“That’s great,” Allura said, tearfully. She took in a shaky breath. “Um...on the day of my husbands murder, I was...getting….” Allura said the end of her sentence so quietly that Lance couldn’t hear her. 

“What?” He asked. 

She tried again, whispering directly into the phone but Lance still couldn’t make out what she was saying. 

“Huh?” He said again. 

“ _PLASTIC SURGERY! I WAS GETTING PLASTIC SURGERY!_ ” Allura screamed. Lance gasped, shocked to his very core. 

“Oh, _god!_ ” Allura cried, banging her head on the small desk in front of her. 

“ _No_!” Lance exclaimed, not quite believing it. 

“I know! I’m a fraud!” Allura wailed. “It’s not like normal women can have these cheekbones! I was getting facial contouring, and...and a nose job...oh god, I’m awful,” 

Lance was in shock. His jaw swung wide open. 

“If my fans knew that I did this….I would lose everything,” She said, eyes wide and fearful. “I’ve already lost my husband. I would rather go to jail than lose my reputation. It’s all I have left,” 

“Allura,” Lance said, softly. “Your secret is safe with me,” 

Allura visibly relaxed, her lips twitching into a small smile. “Thank you. Thank you so much,” 

~~~

Zarkon walked into the room, a stack of case files in his hands. “Keith, go and get me some coffee,” He ordered the young intern, who glared daggers before doing as he was asked. “We have two interviews tomorrow, that Gerard and Bobby will handle. The ex wife is in an hour. And, according to this communication from the prison...our client apparently had a visit from her brother...a Mister Delta Nu.” Zarkon took off his glasses and looked at Lance. “Anyone you know?” 

Lance sighed. “Yes. I went to visit her,”

Zarkon glared at Lance. “What the hell do you mean, you went to visit her?” 

“I went to get her alibi,” Lance said. 

“Well, did you get it?” Zarkon asked. Everyone in the room turned to look at Lance. 

He nodded his head. “Mmmhm. It’s _really_ good,” He said, sharing a grin with Keith, who was bringing coffee over to Zarkon. 

Zarkon actually looked at Lance with some respect. “Well, great. What is it?” He asked expectantly. 

Uh oh. Lance had knew this was coming. “Oh, I can’t tell you,” 

The room suddenly went very silent. “Why the hell not?” The professor asked, slamming a file down on the table. 

“Well, because I promised her I’d keep it a secret, and I can’t break the bond of sisterhood,” 

“ _Screw sisterhood!_ This is a _murder trial_ , not some scandal at the sorority house! I want the alibi.” 

“Well, I can’t tell you. But I can tell you that she is for sure innocent,” 

Zarkon blinked at Lance in disbelief. His secretary walked in a second later. “Mrs Windham Vandermark is on line two for you, sir” She said. 

Zarkon inhaled sharply. “Someone….deal with him whilst I take this,” he said faintly before stalking out of the room. 

“Are you _crazy_? Just tell him the alibi!” William pleaded with Lance, earning nods from the rest of the room. 

Lance was going to stand his ground. Allura had trusted him and he wasn’t about to betray that. “No,” He said simply. 

Another partner from the back of the room spoke up. “We’ll lose this case if you don’t”

Lance snorted. “Well, then we’re not very good lawyers, are we?” He challenged. 

Nyma leaned over. “If you tell him, he’ll probably hire you as a summer associate,” She said, as if that would make a difference. “Who cares about Allura? Think about yourself.”

Lance glared at Nyma, struggling to believe there was a time he thought she was compassionate and loving. 

“I gave her my word, Nyma.” 

Nyma snorted. “So what?” She asked. Lance shook his head, and caught Keith glaring at Nyma in disgust. Uh-oh, trouble in paradise, it seemed. 

Zarkon strolled back into the room. “The ex wife seems to be...unconcerned with the fact that her interview is today. She’s at a spa in the Berkshires.” 

William turned to Lance. “A spa? Isn’t that, like, your mothership?” He sneered, gaining a chuckle from Plaxum who was sitting next to him. 

“I could go if you’d like me to,” Lance said, directly addressing Zarkon and ignoring William and Plax. 

Zarkon sighed. “Shiro, go with him.” 

~~~

Shiro slowly pulled up to the driveway to the spa, driving carefully through the narrow, winding path. 

“She seems completely untrustworthy to me,” Shiro said, discussing Allura and her case as they had been the entire drive up. 

“But why?” 

“I mean, this is a person who’s made her living by telling women they’re too ugly,” he said. 

Lance gasped. “Allura would _never_ call someone ugly,” 

Shiro shook his head. “ _And_ it seems to me that she’s hiding something,”

Well...he wasn’t wrong there. “But maybe it’s not what you think,” Allura was hiding some light cosmetic surgery, not being guilty of murder. 

“Maybe it’s exactly what I think,”

“You know, you’re really being a….a butthead,” 

Shiro snorted. “A butthead? Why would you call me that?”

“You know, Shiro, you just need to have a little more faith in people. You might be surprised,” 

“I can’t believe you just called me a butthead. Nobody’s called me that since 8th Grade,”

Lance chuckled. “Maybe not to your face,” He joked. 

Shiro snorted. He pulled the car up to the front of the building. “Wow, so this is what a spa looks like. How do we find her?” He asked. 

“I called ahead. She’s in the mudroom,” Lance said, getting out of the car. 

The two made their way to the front desk, receiving directions and walking to the mud room. 

They pushed the door open, revealing a woman encased in a gold foil wrap with a facemask and cucumbers on her face. Heat lamps were directed at her. 

Lance approached her. “Mrs Windham Vandermark?” He said, pulling a cucumber slice off of her eye. 

She sighed. “So, you found me,” 

“We’re from Sendak, Prorok, Kolivan and Zarkon, and we’re here to ask you a few questions,” 

She sighed again. “I hear that little tart from California shot poor Heyworth,” she said. 

Shiro stepped forward. “Well, that’s what we’re trying to prove didn’t happen,” he told her, getting out a pocket notebook and pen. 

“Do you have any reason to believe that she did?”

“Well, I’ve never actually met the woman, of course, but my daughter tells me she can be quite the little bitch,”

Shiro coughed. “Did your daughter ever mention anything about the relationship between Allura and Heyworth?” 

Mrs Windham Vandermark smirked. “Well, she did say that they humped like gorillas,”

Lance nearly choked and shared an awkward glance with Shiro. 

Mrs Windham Vandermark sighed again. “But I guess it wasn’t enough for Allura,” 

“Why do you say that?” Shiro asked. 

She snorted. “Well…haven’t you seen the pool boy?” She said, raising her eyebrows. 

~~~

After Shiro dropped him off, Lance made his way back to his dorm, crossing through the campus as a short cut. He couldn’t help but overhear the conversation Thace was having with two guys. 

“So, I called your room last night…” Thace said awkwardly to one of them. 

“Yeah, I heard.”

“I was thinking maybe we could go out sometime?” 

The guy he was talking to snorted. “No way, you’re a dork,”

“I-I’m in Law School,” he stuttered. 

“Look, I’m not going out with you. I can’t believe you’d even ask. Guys like me don’t go out with losers like you,”

“Let’s get out of here,” one of them said, and the two turned around. 

Lance wasn’t standing for this - Thace was a good guy, and he was super sweet, and didn’t deserve the be treated like that. Lance was totally gonna have to show those two jerks up. 

“Excuse me,” Lance said, turning around and walking over. He slapped Thace across the face, who looked at him in alarm. “Why didn’t you call me?” Lance demanded. 

“W-what?” Thace stammered, confused. 

“We spent a beautiful night together, and I never hear from you again?”

“I...I’m sorry?” Thace asked, glancing at the two guys who were now looking at him with interest. 

“Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I’ve ever known and then just taking it away?” Lance exclaimed, in full diva-mode now. 

“I, uhm....both?” 

“Well, forget it. I’ve already spent too many hours crying over you,” He said, turning around and walking off. 

As he left, he heard one of the guys ask Thace when he wanted to go out. 

Mission completed. 

~~~

Lance was curled up in his chair, Blue on his lap, as he flipped through a large file when he heard a knock on his door. 

“Come in,” He said, not looking up as he was still engrossed in what he was reading. 

There was a small pause before Keith spoke out. “Are you, uhm, done with that deposition yet?” Lance looked up, finding Keith standing awkwardly in the doorway, clad in a matching set of Star Trek pyjamas and odd socks. His stomach dropped, a swarm of butterflies appearing and having a party in the pit of his stomach. 

“O-oh, yeah, here, take it. I’ve read it, like, twenty times,” He said, holding the file out. Keith walked into the room and gingerly took it from Lance, clutching it to his chest. 

“You know, Lance, I...still can’t believe you didn’t tell Zarkon the alibi,” Keith said, though Lance couldn’t see and judgement on his face. 

“It wasn’t my alibi to tell,” Lance said simply. 

“I know, and I thought that was very...classy of you,” Keith replied. 

Lance’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?” He asked. 

“For sure. Anyone else would have betrayed Allura’s trust and told Zarkon, but you kept your promise and that’s really cool of you” Keith said, nodding slightly. 

“Thanks,” Lance said to keith, who smiled back softly. 

Keith turned to go after a beat, making his way to the door before he stopped and awkwardly spun back round. 

“Do you, uhm, ever notice how Zarkon never asks Nyma to bring him coffee? He’s asked me, like, ten times already,”

Lance smirked. “Nyma’s pretty useless, you know that,” He said. 

Keith grinned, taking a seat on Lance’s bed (the butterfly party turned into a full on rave). “Right? She doesn’t even do her own laundry,”

Lance laughed. “Yeah, she has to have it sent out!” The two shared a laugh. 

Keith glanced at the door before turning back to Lance. “Did you know, when she first applied, she got wait-listed,”

“What?!” Lance exclaimed. Keith got off the bed and sat on the floor in front of Lance. 

“Her father had to make a call,”

“No way! You’re kidding!” Lance said. 

Keith shook his head, and the two burst out laughing. Lance couldn’t believe this - He, Lance Díaz, got in first try and Nyma had to get her dad to _phone and beg for her to get in!_

Blue made a little whimper, snuggling up against Lance’s side. Keith’s eye lit up when he saw her. “Oh, wow, that is such a precious dog. Hi!” He said, giving a little wave to Blue, causing Lance’s heart to melt into a puddle. 

“Her name is Blue. Would you like to hold her? She’s very friendly,” Lance said, holding Blue out to Keith, who carefully took her and held her to his chest. Blue instantly started licking Keith’s face. 

Lance laughed. “Look, she likes you!” Keith joined in laughing and continued to hug Blue. 

“So, Keith…” Lance begun, wanting to ask something he’d had on his mind for a while now. His classmate looked up, raising an eyebrow. “I was just wondering, I mean….Nyma doesn’t really seem like your type. Why are you with her?” 

Keith’s expression dropped a bit, and he glanced down at Blue, who was now curled up on his lap. “My parents are really obsessed with social status and stuff. I’m their only child and it’s, like, really important for them that I’m successful at law and settle down with a girl,” he made a face, which caused Lance to raise an eyebrow, “from a respectable family, and they’ve done so much for me that I guess I didn’t want to disappoint them, you know?” 

Lance paused for a moment, unsure what to say. “You shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t want to just because it will make your parents happy. You matter, too,” He said, getting off his chair and joining Keith on the floor. 

Keith shrugged. “I guess. I mean, they’re not my biological parents, they adopted me, so I just...I feel like I owe them a lot. They didn’t have to take me in and raise me, but they did, and if this is all they want from me...I should do my best to give it to them, right? I didn’t even _want_ to be a lawyer. I guess you probably think that’s really stupid, huh, going to Law School for someone else.” 

Lance coughed awkwardly. “Oh god, I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but...I literally never, ever wanted to be a lawyer. Never even thought about it. Then Nyma dumped me and said it was because I wasn’t smart enough, and I literally started revising and taking tests and got into Harvard just to follow her here and win her back.”

Keith choked on air for a second, wheezing. “You...oh my god, _really?_ But, Lance, she’s so awful!” 

Lance groaned. “Ugh, I know right? I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“She’s wrong, though,” Keith said. Lance gave him a questioning look. “You’re incredibly smart, Lance. You deserve to be here as much as anyone else. I’m sorry I was so horrible to you at the start. Everyone I know, at school or college or that horrible country club is so awfully fake and nasty and if you’re ever actually _nice_ to someone, you get torn to shreds, and I just...all I saw was Nyma’s ex boyfriend turn up and I was sure she was going to leave me for you and that would _kill_ my parents.”

Lance put an awkward arm around Keith’s shoulder. “Honestly, it’s fine. I don’t blame you. But, honestly, Keith...you seem really unhappy with Nyma. Don’t stay with her just because it’s what your parents want from you,” He said. 

Keith shook his head. “No, you don’t understand, I...I don’t even _like_ girls, not like that, and I can’t do that to them. Whatever, it’s not like you’d get it,” Keith shrugged Lance’s arm off, putting Blue down on the floor and starting to stand up. 

Lance put a hand on Keith’s arm. “You’re right. I don’t know what it’s like to hide something like that from your parents...mine were great when I came out as bi to them, and I’m….sorry you can’t do that. But that doesn’t mean you can’t, like, talk to me or whatever.” 

Keith looked at up at him, sighing. “Yeah, yeah you’re right. I’m sorry, I just...you know.” Keith shrugged and looked down at the floor. “It’s, uh, getting pretty late. I should probably head back to my room,” He said, standing up and making his way to the door. Lance followed. 

“Sure thing, dude. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” 

Keith looked back at Lance. “Yeah, tomorrow,” He said, and walked out into the corridor. 

Well, Lance hadn’t been expecting _that_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is by far my longest chapter yet, hopefully that makes up for the delay in updating? I wasn’t really sure about the last scene cause up until now, I’ve followed the Legally Blonde script pretty strictly, and this was a total tangent, but I thought it was important they had a lil heart to heart. Sorry if it’s like wildly out of character but I figure, in this universe at least anyway, Keith would be a little more open seeing as he hasn’t been living alone in the desert for years and didn’t lose his best friend. Anyway, hope it was okay! (Also try and picture Coran doing the Bend and Snap, it's an experience)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay or European. 
> 
> That's it. That's the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was in hospital because my lungs yet again failed on me, and had to be woken up like every 2 hours so check i hadn’t died or some shit, so instead of trying to sleep I wrote this instead. Proceed with caution and expect many typos (please point any out!). The only words I have to say about this chapter are: GAY. OR. EUROPEAN.

Lance had a problem. A problem in the shape of a dorky guy with a mullet who also just happened to be dating his ex. Yeah, that kind of problem. 

Ever since Lance had found out that Keith was actually interested in guys, he’d struggled to not think about it. Lance had assumed that Keith was straight, and so had never really let himself even entertain the possibility that he had less-than-platonic feelings for his classmate, but now...well, it was all Lance could really think about. 

Even taking the ghastly haircut into account, Keith was attractive, and even if he wasn’t Lance’s usual type, the two had really struck up a friendship, despite their rocky start. They regularly hung out outside of class, be it studying together in the library or catching up over coffee, and spent any time not physically together texting. But now that Lance knew for certain that it was in the realm of possibility for Keith to _like_ him….surely he could be forgiven for focusing on that?

It wouldn’t even be such a problem if it wasn’t for the fact it was the first day of Allura’s trial, and Lance was totally unfocused. 

In his defence, the entire situation was totally overwhelming, without even taking his Keith related crisis into account - Lance was actually in _court_ defending a client on a _murder trial_. Well, not really him, of course, he was just an intern, but he was working for the man who _was_ defending Allura. 

Lance was just glad Allura had stuck with Professor Zarkon - even if he didn’t seem to believe Allura, he was an amazing lawyer, and if anyone could clear her name, it would be him. 

When Lance walked into the courtroom for the first time, it was totally surreal. He couldn’t help but feel like he’d stepped into an episode of Law & Order, half expecting to see Bradley Walsh at any moment. 

The room was stuffed to the brim, supports of both sides filling the benches, and several news vans were parked outside the building covering the trial. As the judge entered, everybody stood up, staying there until having permission to be seated again. It was all incredibly formal and serious and Lance was feeling a little bit out of his depth. 

“And where was she, exactly?” The prosecution lawyer asked, leaning over her desk with a case file in hand.

In the stand was Haggar, Allura’s step daughter. Lance felt somewhat sorry for her - not only did she have an incredibly bizarre name, but a god awful perm to go with it. Poor girl looked like she’d been dragged from the 80s. 

“Standing over my father’s dead body,” Haggar said coldly, glaring at Allura. 

The next witness to be called to the stand was the pool boy who worked for Allura. The man answered a few mandatory, basic questions, such as how long he’d been working for Allura, before being asked more serious ones.

The lawyer shot a smug smirk over to Allura’s side of the courtroom, before unfurling a pair of swimming briefs so skimpy, Lance almost blushed. Keith, bless him, actually _did_ , eyes wide and cheeks flushed red. 

“Mr Salvatore, can you tell us what this is?”

The pool boy, Mr Salvatore, leaned over to the microphone. “My uniform,” He said, earning a raised eyebrow from the Judge and several members of the court. Lance snuck a glance over to Allura, who was looking mortified as a delicate blush rose to her cheeks. 

“This is the uniform that Allura Windham asked you to wear whilst cleaning her pool?” The lawyer asked, walking up to the stand and showing off the very small, very glittery piece of fabric, causing a few members of the jury to let out scandalised gasps. 

Mr Salvatore leant forward again. “Yes, she demanded I wore that to work every day,” 

The lawyer nodded, rolling the underwear back up. “Are you, or are you not, having an affair with the defendant?” 

“Define ‘affair’”, Mr Salvatore asked. 

“Have you and Mrs Allura Windham been partaking in sexual relations?” The lawyer defined, glancing at Allura. 

Mr Salvatore nodded. “Yes. Allura and I were lovers,” 

The courtroom gasped, heads turning to Allura. Lance panicked, sharing a look of confusing with Keith - this had never been mentioned before, and the court was _not_ the place they wanted such valuable, new evidence to come to light. 

“No further questions,” The lawyer said, satisfied with the shocked reaction of the courtroom. The judge dismissed the court, setting the time for it to reconvene the next morning. 

Lance and the other interns made their way to the front where Allura, Zarkon and Shiro were seated. 

“You were sleeping with the _pool boy_?! This is a disaster - this gives you a plausible motive!” Zarkon exclaimed, smoke practically coming out of his ears. 

Allura look offended by the very idea. “God, of course not! A delta Nu would never sleep with a man who wears a thong - right, Lance?” 

Lance shook his head vigorously. “ _Never_ ,” He confirmed. 

“I just....like watching him clean the filter,” Allura pouted, being taken away by guards and throwing a pleading look over her shoulder. “Take care of me, Lance!” She called. 

“I will!” Lance promised. And he would, he was sure of it. 

~~~

The next morning, Lance was met with terrible news that came in the form of a wailing Coran. 

“You _broke her nose_?!” Lance said incredulously into the phone, not quite comprehending what he was hearing as he stood in line for the water fountain. 

“ _Yes! It was a disaster! I tried the Bend and Snap, just like you said, but my snap was all over the place! She leant down to get the pen at the same time I did, and I walloped her in the face_!”

Lance felt awful for finding the situation amusing, but he couldn’t help it - the visual image of Coran doing the bend and snap, only to headbut the poor mail carrier? Comedy _gold_. 

“I’ll come right over just as soon as we’re done in court. But don’t worry, honestly - my friend Hunk barfed on his date during a rollercoaster ride, and they just got engaged,” He said, remembering the distraught look on Hunk’s face when he came back after the disastrous first date with Shay. 

“ _Really? You’re not just saying that_?” Coran asked, his nerves and embarrassment audible even over the phone.

“It totally happened, I promise!” Lance assured his friend. 

“ _Well, alright then. I’ll let you go - good luck, m’boy! Knock ‘em dead, eh?_ ” Lance laughed with Coran before saying his goodbyes and slipping his phone into his blazer pocket. 

He finally reached the front of the line, and was just about to step up, when Mr Salvatore cut in front, using it himself. 

Lance arched an eyebrow. Did this man have no manners? Lance began to impatiently tap his shoes on the floor, hoping the pool boy would get the message. 

Mr Salvatore straightened up slowly, and turned around, sneering. “Don’t go stomping your little last-season Prada shoes at _me_ , honey,” He said, before turning around in the direction of the courtroom. 

Lance pulled a face. “These aren’t last season!” He called after the pool boy, feeling thoroughly offended. Just who did this guy think he was, insulting Lance’s fashion choices like that? 

Lance gasped. No _way_ ….. 

He raced to the courtroom, shoving his way past several people and throwing apologies over his shoulder, before reaching his group. 

“ _He’s gay!_ ” Lance exclaimed, causing them to whip their heads around and stare. Keith choked on air, eyes wide and fearful, clearly thinking Lance had just randomly outed him. 

“I’m sorry?” Zarkon said, glaring at Lance over his glasses. 

Lance caught his breath after his little sprint before clarifying. “Mr Salvatore, the pool boy - he’s gay!”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “How could you possibly know that?” He asked, craning his neck to look at the man in question.

“My _shoes_ ,” Lance said, pointing at his very much not-last-season shoes. 

The group pulled varying faces of confusion, seemingly unsure as to how Lance’s shoes could determine if someone was gay or not. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Shiro, what kind of shoes am I wearing?” 

The man blinked several times, before looking at Lance’s feet. “Uhm...brown...ones?” He said. 

“See! When I was at the water fountain, Mr Salvatore identified my shoes by brand _and_ season. Straight men just don’t know designer shoes. He’s gay - he couldn’t possibly have had an affair with Allura,”

Allura nodded. “He _did_ leave a Cher CD by the pool one time,” She said thoughtfully, as if it was all coming together. 

Nyma laughed. “Sure, like that means anything - I mean, Keith has Cher CDs, and that doesn’t mean _he’s_ gay,” She said. 

“Oh, _honey_ ,” Plaxum snorted, raising her eyebrows at Keith who was beginning to look like he wanted to launch himself into the sun. 

“This is ridiculous - we can’t base a legal case off of _designer shoes_ ,” Zarkon said. “If we put him on the stand and try to ‘out’ him and we’re wrong? We’ll look incompetent _and_ homophobic!” 

“But….if we’re right, we can prove he’s lying…and it can’t be used as a possible motive,” Shiro said, grabbing a case file and flipping through it, brainstorming. 

“What if he’s bi, though? Then he still could have slept with Allura…” Keith said. 

Lance snorted, turning around and looking at the pool boy. “Puh-lease, look at him...the killer shape he’s in, the facial hair...he’s gay, totally gay,” Lance said confidently. 

This could be it! Lance could actually help Allura _and_ win the case! 

Depending on Zarkon being convinced, of course, which he wasn’t. “No, no, I’m not about to celebrate. Those traits aren’t solely indicative of him being gay….he’s straight. And we’re not going up to the stand with this silly speculation”

Nyma spoke up. “But look at his perfect hairstyle, and _translucent_ socks,” She said, looking the pool boy up and down, clearly getting on board with the idea. 

“And, come on, that shirt? He may as well be wearing a disco ball, for crying out loud,” Keith said, which was true - Mr Salvatore was wearing a particularly dazzling shirt that was made of more rhinestones than fabric, another glaring indicator in Lance’s opinion. 

“What we have here, everybody, is the ultimate question. Is he gay-” Shiro started.

“Of course he’s gay!” Lance interrupted, earning a withering glare from Zarkon. 

“Is he gay,” Shiro started again, “or simply _European_ ,” 

“Ohhh,” The group said at once, reevaluating their perspective. 

Plaxum nodded. “They _do_ bring their boys up differently there….they play all those peculiar sports in shiny shirts and tiny shorts,” She said. 

“It could take forever to find out which one - they both say things like _ciao bella_ and kiss you on both cheeks,” Nyma said, earning a lot of sighs in agreement. 

“You know, depending on the time of day, the French go either way…” Shiro chimed in, looking off into the distance as if reminiscing. Lance raised an eyebrow - now that had to be a good story. 

The group all paused, assessing Mr Salvatore from afar. 

“There! Right there!” Plaxum exclaimed, gesturing to the man’s face. “Look at that condescending smirk - I see it at every guy at work, all the time. He’s just another metro hetero jerk, I’m telling you - no way is he gay,” 

Just then, the pool buy turned to the male guard standing next to him, a flirtatious smile on his face as he played with the clearly uninterested guards hat. 

“ _AHA!_ ” Lance exclaimed smugly, only to be disappointed a second later when Mr Salvatore turned and winked at the female sketch artist. 

“I’m telling you, he’s just European - it’s not unusual for a man to wear a kilt over there, you know,” Professor Zarkon said, causing hums in agreement from the group. 

Allura sighed. “His accent is hypnotic, but he wears _pointy shoes_!” She said, and sure enough, the pool boy was sporting a stylish pair of pointed shoes, embellished with yet more rhinestones. 

Nobody in the group seemed to be able to make a decision - they couldn’t very well ask the man straight up if he batted for the other team, and yet the entire case could hinge on his sexuality. 

“Listen, as much as I appreciate this masterful legal theory, we’re fighting a murder trial. The reality is, we can’t just go on some hunch from a mere intern,” Zarkon said, glaring at Lance again, clearly done with all the useless debate. 

Just then, Shiro stood up. “Wait, guys….I think I could crack this. I have an idea,” 

Zarkon shrugged. “The floor is yours, Shiro. Don’t mess it up,” He said, clearly out of ideas himself. 

Just then, the judge called the courtroom to order, sending everyone back to their seats, and Mr Salvatore returning to the stand. Shiro took a deep breath and stood up.

“Did you ever take Mrs Windham on a date, Mr Salvatore?” Shiro asked the pool boy, who was still looking smug. 

“Yes. To restaurants where nobody could recognise us,” He answered. 

“And how long have you been sleeping with Mrs Windham?”

“Three months,” The pool boy answered yet again, confident with his answers. 

“And your first name is?”

“Mikos,”

“And your boyfriend’s name is?” 

“Chuck,” Mr Salvatore said, still confident, before realising his mistake. The entire courtroom gasped once again, breaking out into excited and shocked chatter. Lance couldn't believe it - he’d actually been right?!

The judge banged her gavel several times. “Order! Order in my court!” The noise lowered considerably, but there were still murmurings and laughter. 

“I-I, you see, I….” The pool boy started, clearly trying to save himself. 

“Yes, Mr Salvatore?” Shiro asked, one eyebrow raised and a smile tugging at his mouth. 

“I thought you said friend, you see, Chuck is just...just my friend,” Mr Salvatore said, trying to look as earnest as possible. 

Of course, there was no way to prove him wrong - if he said he was confused, there was no actual evidence to contradict him, but-

“ _YOU LYING BITCH!_ ” A member of the court stood up and shouted, causing everyone to jump and whip their heads around, where a man now stood, fuming. He grabbed his coat and strutted towards the doors, crying. 

“Chuck! Wait!” Mr Salvatore cried in alarm, raising his voice to be heard over the din of the courtroom, which had once again broken out into chaos. 

“ _I WILL LIE FOR YOU NO MORE! EVERYBODY, THIS MAN….IS GAY AND EUROPEAN!_ ” He exclaimed, before walking out and slamming the doors behind him. 

Well, Lance hadn’t expected that revelation. Him and the other interns looked at eachother with jaws hanging open, before breaking into matching grins of excitement. They’d done it, they’d proved him wrong! 

Lance felt on top of the world - they could actually _win this case!_ And Lance had helped! Nothing could get in the way of such an amazing feeling of triumph, pride and accomplishment.

Of course, because Lance was perpetually unlucky, that was when it all went to shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I realise this is super short and like 99.9% dialogue, but I kind of don't even care because I finally got to Gay or European. . If you haven’t watched the Legally Blonde musical, you absolutely must - not only is it absolutely brilliant, but the number I tried (and probably failed) to portray here is the most iconic song and I adore it with every fibre of my being (also a lot more happens but I couldn’t really describe an entire broadway number complete with dancing). Also, the next chapter might be the last?! We’re coming to the end of the set story and unless I add an epilogue (which I might, if anyone would like that?), there’s really only one chapter left! I hope enjoyed this chapter, and I’ll try and upload again soon! (I also realised that anybody not in the UK probably won't realise who Bradley Walsh is but he is a national treasure soooo)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zarkon is awful, Keith and Shiro give a lot of pep talks, and Lance kicks ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to get this up sooner so that the entire fic can be finished before I go to uni, but I went on an impromptu trip back home to see all my family that still lives in Norway before I’m too much of a starving student to do so, so I’ve been super busy! Ooops. Anyway, I’m back and with me is…..not the last chapter, like I said it would be. I decided that I’d write a short epilogue that I’ll be posting as the next, and final, chapter (hopefully next weekend!). Hope you enjoy this one!

After the day in court, Zarkon, his associates and the interns returned back to the office buildings, mainly to type up reports and reorganise notes. Lance himself had been busy updating case files due to the new evidence that came to light in the courtroom. 

He’d finally finished and was started to head home - looking forward to a bath and some quality time with Blue - when Keith, buried under a mountain of files caught him. 

“Oh, hey, Lance - Zarkon wanted to see you in his office,” He said, struggling to hold up the weight, but still giving Lance one of his brilliant smiles that were oh so rare for anyone but him. 

Lance winced - what would Professor Zarkon possible want with him? All he could think of was being reprimanded for his actions in court, but Lance had totally been right and helped the case. 

“Do you know what he wants?” Lance asked, hoping Keith would know what was up so Lance could mentally prepare himself. It’s not that he was _scared_ of Zarkon, it was just….okay, he was totally scared. The man was terrifying! And he had the power to make or break Lance’s career as a lawyer, which only made the professor even more intimidating. 

Keith shook his head. “Nope, sorry. Maybe he wants some more coffee?” He shrugged, earning a snort from Lance. “Anyway, I’m heading out - I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

Lance nodded vigorously, saying goodnight as he watched Keith stumble his way into the lift. He took in a few deep breaths, telling himself Zarkon probably just needed some filing to be done, before making his way to the office, knocking on the door. 

He heard a muffled _‘Come in!’_ and opened the door, stepping inside to Zarkon’s office for the first time. It was just as intimidating as the man himself, really, all dark wood and leather. 

“Why don’t you take a seat,” Zarkon, who was standing by his desk, said, gesturing to one of the plush leather sofas in the room. Lance made his way over and perched awkwardly on one, Zarkon walking round to lean against his desk in front of him. 

“Is, er, everything alright?” Lance asked nervously, resisting the urge to bite his nails out of habit (he managed to refrain purely because he could picture the disapproving look Coran would give him at the state of his cuticles). 

“You followed your intuition today, Lance, and it was right on target. I should have listened,” He started. Lance felt his eyebrows rise - he hadn’t been expecting this at all. Did...did Zarkon bring him in to _compliment_ him? For being good at this whole lawyer thing? 

“Thank you,” He said, fighting the proud smile that was threatening to appear on his face. 

“About the alibi,” Zarkon started again, and Lance felt his stomach drop. He knew that an alibi from Allura would make all the difference, would most certainly ensure their victory, but he just couldn’t betray his friend like that. 

“I-I’m sorry tha-” He started, prepared to defend himself and his decision yet again, but was cut off by his professor. 

“I’m impressed that you had the….initiative, and motivation, to go and get it yourself. That’s what makes a good lawyer. And on top of that, you gained the client's trust, and kept it - that’s what makes a _great_ lawyer.”

Lance couldn’t keep the smile off of his face this time, practically beaming at the praise - a great lawyer, Zarkon had called him. _Great!_ Lance could never have imagined something like law could bring him so much joy, but now that his talent for it was getting recognised, and _praised_ , he couldn’t imagine ever wanting to do anything else with his life. He’d always wanted to do something that made a difference, but after being constantly told he was too dumb, too silly to do anything worthwhile, he’d resigned himself to a future of fashion internships, letting others do work that made a real impact. But now? Now he could actually make something of his life, do something good and meaningful. 

“You’re smart, Lance. Hell, you’re smarter than most of the guys on my payroll,” Zarkon said, taking his glasses off and slipping them into his front pocket. 

The professor made his way over to Lance, sitting on an adjoining sofa. “I think it’s time we discussed your career path. Have you thought about where you might become a summer associate?” 

Truthfully, Lance hadn’t - after all, he’d only gone to Harvard for Nyma...being _good_ at Law had never been part of the plan. Now that he actually wanted to do it, he didn’t have a clue where to start. “Not really,” he admitted, “I know it’s very competitive, so,” He trailed off, feeling somewhat foolish - everyone else in his class probably had 10-year life plans already drawn up, knowing exactly where they were going. 

Zarkon smiled. “You know, Lance, competition is really all about ferocity and determination. Combining human intelligence with animal diligence,” he said, leaning forward. “It’s about knowing exactly what you want, and how far you’ll go to get it,”

Lance was totally on board with what Zarkon was saying until the moment the professor's hand found itself on Lance’s thigh, far too high up to be considered meerley friendly. “The question is, how far will _Lance_ go?” 

“Are you - are you _hitting on me_?” He exclaimed, pushing the man's hand off of him. 

Zarkon smirked. “You’re a beautiful boy,” He said, the sleazy tone to his words making Lance feel sick. 

“So….everything you just said….” Lance started, not even wanting to finish the thought. 

His professor shrugged. “What can I say...I’m a man who knows what he wants,”

Lance stood up from the sofa, backing away from Zarkon. “And I’m a law student who just realised his professor is a pathetic, creepy _asshole_ ,” He said, still not quite able to believe what was happening. 

“Too bad, I thought you were a law student who wanted to be a lawyer,” Zarkon shot back as Lance stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him. 

He made his way to the elevator, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill down his face at any moment. He needed to get out, needed to get some air so that he could _breathe_ and -

Keith’s arm suddenly appeared, stopping the lift doors from closing. 

“You almost had me fooled,” He snarled, a look of disdain on his face that Lance had never seen before, not even when the two were at odds at the start of the year. 

“W-what?” Lance stammered, too shaken from the events in Zarkon’s office to work out what Keith was talking about. 

Keith snorted, a nasty, bitter sounding thing. “Maybe you should sleep with the jury, too. Then we could actually win the case,” He said. 

Lance felt like he was going to be sick. _Oh god_ , Keith must have seen, he must think that Lance was...that he was what, sleeping his way to the top? “No, no Keith, you don’t-”

“Save it, Lance. I thought….I thought you were different. I thought we were….it doesn’t matter. I’m done,” Keith said, letting the elevator doors slide shut between them. 

The tears fell then.

_God_ , how could he have been so _stupid_? How could he think that, what, he was actually _smart?_ That he was good at something as complex as law? He was just a dumb kid, always would be. He’d only be seen for his good looks and nothing else, because there _wasn’t_ anything else. 

Everyone in his life had been quite clear that the sum of Lance Díaz was little more than a pretty face and not much else, and they were right. God, they were so right, and Lance should have listened, he couldn’t believe he was so naïve to think that he was _worth_ something. 

Lance would never amount to anything, and all of _this_ served him right for thinking anything different. 

Nyma was right - he wasn’t serious. He wasn’t smart. He was going nowhere in life and would only hold people like her, people like _Keith_ , back. 

He didn’t have any skills, any talents - he was mediocre at best, including fashion, and the fact he’d thought, even for a second, that law was the exception was….well, it was laughable. 

God, he was so pathetic.

He should have stayed in California. 

The lift finally reached the foyer and he stormed out, striding towards the exit, desperate to get away from the building. Of course, it was his luck that Shiro would be walking in at the same moment. 

“Hey,” The older man started, clearly noticing the tear tracks on Lance’s face. 

Lance simply shook his head, still walking. “I’m quitting.” 

“What? Why?!” Shiro asked, shocked, grabbing Lance by the arm and forcing him to stop. 

“Law school was a mistake. This internship was a mistake,” Lance forced out, trying to stop yet more tears from falling. 

“What are you talking about? You earned this, Lance,” Shiro said, causing Lance to laugh bitterly. _Yeah, right_. 

“I didn’t earn _anything_ , Shiro. Zarkon only gave me the internship because he likes the way I look, which he made _perfectly_ clear this evening when he tried to feel me up,” Lance spat out, wiping his eyes on his blazer and not even caring about making the jacket dirty. 

“Woah, woah wait, Zarkon tried to do _what_?” Shiro exclaimed in shock. Lance just shook his head, too exhausted to explain everything. 

“Just - just forget about it, okay? I’m going back to L.A. No more suits, no more text books, no more trying to be something that I’m - that I’m just not, and never will be.”

“What if you’re trying to be someone you _are_? To hell with Zarkon. Lance, you should stay,”

Lance smiled sadly. He’d miss the pep talks from Shiro, but he just….couldn’t stay here. “Call me if you’re ever in California, okay?” He said, before finally shrugging his way past and exiting the building for good. 

~~~

His last stop was, of course, the salon. His car was packed and loaded, Blue sitting patiently in the passenger seat outside whilst Lance went in to say his goodbyes to Coran. 

“What’s the point in staying, Coran? People are never going to take me seriously,” Lance said, sniffing as his eyes welled up. Coran didn’t look much better, eyes red and glistening. “The people are law school don’t, _Keith_ doesn’t….I don’t think my own parents take me seriously.” He took in a deep breath, looking around the salon once more. “I just felt, like, for the first time, someone expected me to do more with my life, _be_ more. But who was I kidding? Zarkon never saw me as a lawyer, just a piece of ass. Just like everybody else. Turns out I _am_ a joke, huh?” Lance gave a self deprecating laugh, using a tissue to wipe the tears from his face. 

Coran shook his head. “No, lad, you’re not a joke, you never were,” He said, bringing Lance in for a hug. Lance clutched at Corans shirt, tears dampening the fabric beneath his face. 

Lance drew back, and inhaled deeply. “To hell with law school. I just wanted to say goodbye,”

He was about to make his way out of the salon for good, when a familiar voice stopped him. “If you’re going to let one stupid prick ruin your life….” Professor Luxia said, standing up from her chair at the hair counter and making her way over to Lance, “then you’re not the boy I thought you were,”

The professor gave him a smile, before making her own way out of the salon. 

Lance wanted to believer her, he did, but he just….he wasn’t made for this. He’d been an idiot and tried anyway, but there was no point in dragging out the inevitable. He gave Coran one last hug and goodbye, before walking out of the salon himself. 

Only to be stopped _yet again_ , this time by Keith. 

Lance’s class mate stood by his car, panting slightly, looking like he’d just run to the salon. Lance winced - god, Keith was probably here to have another go at Lance, make him feel even worse. 

Keith looked up, face relaxing into relief when he saw Lance standing in front of him. “Lance, oh thank god, I caught you in time, I-” 

Lance cut him off. “It’s okay, Keith. Save it - I know what you’re going to say. Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” He said, making his way to the driver's side before being stopped by Keith’s hand on his arm.

Keith shook his head, hair flying all over the place. “No, Lance, I’m _sorry_. I - Shiro and I were with Allura, going over the case, and he - he said what happened. I’m so sorry, Lance, I - God. I don’t know what I was _thinking_ , of course you wouldn’t….I….I’m _so_ sorry,” 

Lance swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. Keith had always been beautiful, Lance had always known even at the start, but like this, cheeks flushed from running and eyes wide and sincere and that god awful mullet curling into his face, well….it was gonna really suck leaving him behind. 

“It’s okay, Keith. I would have thought the same thing, I guess. But it doesn’t matter - he was right, you know? I’m not good enough to be a law-”

Keith was the one to cut him off, this time. “ _No_. Don’t, don’t say that - maybe….maybe Zarkon did give you the internship because of how you look, but that doesn’t change anything. You still got into Harvard, right? Nobody saw what you looked like for that, they just saw your _amazing_ LSAT scores. You’re acing all your other classes, and we all know Professor Luxia only likes women, so it’s not like she’s giving you good grades to get in your pants...I’m sorry, I suck at this, but what I’m trying to say is that….Zarkon is a scumbag and you’re worth a _thousand_ more than him, and you can’t just throw all of this away. You’re smart, Lance, you have to _know_ that,” Keith rambled, barely pausing to breathe as he struggled to get all the words out. 

Lance blinked, a warm, content feeling spreading in his chest. _Oh_. He hesitated before bringing Keith into a crushing hug. The other boy took in a startled gasp, before winding his arms round Lance and returning the embrace. 

“It’s too late, though. I already quit, and I...I’m not going back to work for Zarkon. I can’t,” Lance said, voice somewhat muffled by Keith’s shirt. 

“Don’t worry about that. Shiro and I have a plan.”

~~~

Lance stood nervously outside the courtroom, just able to hear the muffled sounds of Allura _firing_ Zarkon. Oh god, was this really happening? Was he really doing this? _Could_ he do this? He knew that Keith and Shiro, and Allura, were behind him 100%, but he still didn’t know if he could really handle this….

_“I have new representation,”_

_“Who?”_

Well, that was Lance’s cue. He glanced at Thace, who was standing next to him with a thick rule book, and the two nodded before the courtroom doors swung open. 

Lance put on a confident face, striding down the room and walking right up to Zarkon’s seat. Lance cleared his throat. “Excuse me. You’re sitting in my seat,” He said, smirking at the look of confusion and anger that made its way onto Zarkon’s face. 

“B-but he’s a law _student_ ,” Zarkon protested. 

Lance turned to Thace, who cleared his throat and opened the book. “Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruling 3.03,” He said, pointing to the section in question. 

“See?” Lance raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “Thank you, Thace,”

“Councillors, please approach the bench,” The judge called out, causing Lance to turn and start walking. 

“What? You’re not going up there,” Zarkon said, standing up. 

Lance snorted. “Oh, yes I am,” He said, earning a snort from Keith. 

“Sorry, didn’t you hear me? You’re _fired_ ,” Allura said, winking at Lance. 

“Councillors,now. All of you,”

Lance, Shiro, Zarkon and the opposing lawyer all made their way to the judge's bench. 

“Lance Díaz, Your Honor. Rule 3.03 of Supreme Judicial court states that a law student may appear on behalf of a defendant in criminal proceedings,” Lance said, smiling at the judge who simply raised an unimpressed eyebrow. 

“Your Honor, I have no problem with this,” The other lawyer said, smiling viciously at Lance. 

Zarkon coughed. “I most certainly do. I’m not allowing it,” He stated, anger evident in his voice. 

Lance smirked, and turned to look at him. “Oh, but you agreed last night, in your office. You know, when we were discussing my career,” He blinked innocently, taking pleasure in the way Zarkon’s eyes widened and his jaw clamped shut. 

The Judge cleared her throat. “The ruling also states that you need a licensed attorney to supervise you. Mr Zarkon?” She asked, looking at the main in question.

“That I won’t agree to,” He said stiffly. 

“I’ll supervise, Your Honor,” Shiro piped up, ignoring the glare directed at him from Zarkon. 

“Well then, Mr Díaz….proceed,” 

“Thank you, Your Honor,” Lance said, and the group made their way back to their respective desks. On his way back, Lance caught sight of Coran slipping into the back of the courtroom, accompanied by the mail carrier who, despite the prominent bruise on her face, couldn’t look happier. 

“I hope you enjoy pirson, Miss Windham,” Zarkon sneered at Allura before storming off. 

Lance was just about to settle in when two _very_ familiar faces entered the courtroom. 

“Oh, there he is! Lance!” Pidge exclaimed, standing on her tiptoes to get a better look.

“Lance! We came to watch your trial, buddy!” Hunk said, grinning. 

“Oh _woah_ , there’s like an actual judge and everything. And a jury! Part of me still thought you made the whole thing up, Lance,” Pidge said, smirking. 

“Vote for Lance!” Hunk called out to the jury, before being shushed by Pidge. 

“Go, take a seat,” The Judge called out in exasperation, causing the two to pull faces and make their way to a seat. 

Lance smiled and waved at them, incredibly touched that they’d come all that way just for him, before turning his attention to the front of the room. 

This was _it_. 

~~~

Hagger stood in the witness stand, one hand on the bible as she pledged to speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 

“Mr Díaz, you may now begin your questioning,” 

Lance nervously got up, and slowly approached the bench. “Erm, first of all, I’d like to point out that….not only is there no proof in this case, but there is a complete lack of mens rea, which….by definition tells us there can be no crime without a vicious will,” He started. 

The Judge once again gave him an unimpressed look. “I am aware of the meaning of mens rea. What I am unaware of is why you want to give me a vocabulary lesson when you should be questioning the witness,” She said. 

“Yes, Your Honor,” Lance replied, gathering his files from the desk. 

“Uhm, Miss Windham...when you returned to the house, was...was your father there?” Lance started, totally out of his depth. 

Haggar leant forward slightly to speak into the mic. 

“Not that I saw. But, like I’ve said, I went straight to have a shower,” She said, before returning to her slouch. 

“And when you came downstairs, what happened?” 

Haggar sighed. “I saw Allura standing over his body, drenched in his blood,” She said, earning mutterings from the jury but sounding far too unaffected by the ordeal of finding her father's dead body. 

Lance consulted his case file quickly before looking back up. “But Mrs Windham didn’t have a gun, correct?”

“Nope. She’d stashed it away by then,” Haggar replied, causing shiro to stand up. 

“Move to strike that from record, Your Honor. It’s speculation,” He said. 

The judge nodded. “So stricken,” She stated, and Shiro went to sit down after giving Lance an encouraging nod. 

“U-uh,” Lance stuttered, “did you hear any shots fired?” 

Hagger sighed yet again. “ _No_ , I was in the shower,” She drawled, rolling her eyes. 

“Okay, so, sometime in the...twenty minutes you were in the shower, your father was shot,” Lance said, more of a statement than a question. 

Hagger shrugged. “Sure, I guess,”

“Your father was shot in the shower…..but you...didn’t hear the shot because, uhm - because you were in the shower?” Lance asked, rambling now. God, this was a mistake, he didn’t know what he was doing - he was only a student, for crying out loud! 

Haggar blinked several times. “...yes? I was washing my hair,”

Lance looked back at his group, feeling helpless. Keith caught his eye and gave him an encouraging smile. He took a deep breath, and glanced at the file once more. 

“What had you, erm, done earlier that day?” He asked. 

“I got up, got a latte, went to the gym, got a perm, and then I came home,” Haggar answered. 

_Wait a second…._

Lance’s eyes widened, filled with a new found confidence. “Where you got in the shower?”

“I believe the witness has made it clear that she was, in fact, _in the shower_ ,” The Judge said, causing several laughs to break out. 

Lance paid it no mind - he finally knew what he was doing. 

“Yes, Your Honor,” He said, and approached the witness stand again. “Miss Windham, have you ever gotten a perm before?”

Haggar rolled her eyes. “Yes,” she said, disinterested. 

“How many would you say, on average?” 

“Twice a year since I was 13. You do the maths,”

Lance smiled, and turned towards the jury. “A friend of mine once got a perm - we all tried to talk her out of it, you know, so many curls weren’t a good look for her.” He turned to Haggar, “She didn’t have your bone structure,” He said. 

“ _Hey!_ We promised to never speak of the perm again!” Pidge cried out from her seat, ignoring the confused glances thrown her way. Lance bit down a laugh and continued. 

“But, thankfully, that same day, she joined in our fraternity water fight. She got completely drenched, from head to toe.”

“Objection!” The opposing lawyer exclaimed, standing up. “What is the relevance of this?”

Lance turned to the Judge. “I have a point, I promise,” He said. 

The Judge sighed. “Then _make_ it,” 

Lance gave his attention back to Haggar. “So, Miss Windham, why is it that my friends curls were ruined in the water fight?” 

Haggar shrugged. “Because they got wet?”

Lance smiled. “ _Exactly_. Isn’t the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance, that you’re forbidden to get your hair wet for at _least_ forty eight hours after getting a perm? Because you’d deactivate the ammonium thioglycolate?” 

“I-yes…” Haggar said, eyes widening. 

“And so, wouldn’t someone who had, say, _thirty_ perms before be well aware of this rule?” Lance asked, watching as Haggar became more and more panicked. “And, if in fact you weren’t washing your hair, as I suspect you weren’t because your curls are quite clearly still intact, wouldn’t you have heard the gunshot?” Haggars eyes became wet, and she looked around the courtroom in desperation. “And, if in fact you _had_ heard that gunshot, Allura Windham wouldn’t have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs, which would mean you would have had to have seen Allura holding a gun to make your story plausible, isn’t that right?” Lance said, words flying out - he was on a roll, he could _do_ this! 

“She’s my age! Did she tell you that?” Haggar exclaimed, tears running down her face. “How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?!”

Lance ignored her and continued what had now become an interrogation. “But you had time to hide the gun, didn’t you Haggar, after you shot your father?”

“I didn’t mean to shoot him!” She wailed. “I thought it was _YOU_ walking through the doors!” She shouted, pointing her finger at Allura. 

The entirety of the courtroom gasped in shock. Lance himself gasped, not foreseeing that plot twist. 

“Order! _Order!_ ” The Judge shouted, banging the gavel down several times. 

Lance turned around to look at Keith and Shiro in shock. “Oh my god,” He said. 

Allura’s jaw hung open. “Oh my god,” She said. 

The Judge raised both her eyebrows this time. “Oh my god,” She said. “Bailiff, take the witness into custody, where she will be charged for the murder of Hayworth Windham. In the matter of The State Vs Windham….this case is dismissed. Allura Windham, you’re free to go,”

Lance gaped, not believing what was happening. The courtroom broke into applause, Keith, Allura and Shiro rushing over to hug Lance in excitement. 

Had he just….won a murder trial?

On his own?

As a first year law student?

It was….it was _unreal_. Lance couldn’t believe it. 

The courtroom exited, Lance and his group making their way out of the room and being instantly confronted by reporters. 

“Lance, how did you know that Haggar was lying?” 

He was about to answer when Allura cut in. “Because he’s brilliant, of course,” She said, winking at Lance. 

After fending off reporters, Lance finally got a second to breathe in the hallway, before Nyma rushed after him, calling his name. 

“What?” He asked, not really wanting to deal with his awful ex. 

“I, uh, just wanted to say that you were so brilliant in there. And that I was wrong.” She said, taking his hand in hers. “You _are_ the guy for me. Lance, I love you.”

Lance gave a brilliant smile. “ _Oh_ , Nyma. I’ve waited so long to hear you say that.” He said sweetly, before dropping the smile and changing his tone. “But if I’m going to be a partner at law by the time I’m 30, I need a partner who’s not a complete bonehead. 

He rolled his eyes and walked away, making his way out the building all together. 

“Wait! Lance!” He heard, and turned around only to see Keith leaping down the stairs after him.

“Hi,” Lance said, grinning. 

“You...that was...I….you’re _incredible_ , Lance.” Keith stuttered out, a lovely blush painting itself across his cheekbones and ears. 

Lance blushed himself, suddenly feeling like a nervous schoolboy. “Thank you, Keith. I couldn’t have done it without you,”

“No, you _could_ \- don’t put yourself down all the time. You’re so brilliantly talented, and you don’t need anybodies help. You’re amazing, all by yourself,” Keith said in earnest, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him somewhat. 

The butterflies in Lance’s stomach that were always around in Keith’s presence changed from a mild dinner party to a full out music festival. Nobody has ever said something like that to him, or at least had never _meant_ it. Not like Keith did. 

Lance’s mind went blank, everything vanishing apart from the overwhelming need to kiss the boy standing in front of him. 

So he did. 

His hands wound their way into Keith’s hair, pulling him in. Their lips met, and nothing else mattered for Lance, not the trial, or Zarkon, or even the mountain of homework waiting for him at home - nothing mattered apart from this, the soft glide of his lips against Keith’s. 

Of course, that’s when he remembered that Keith wasn’t even single. He reared back, eyes widening. “I’m - I’m sorry, I, you….you’re still with Nyma, and-” 

Keith laughed. “To hell with Nyma,” He said, and pulled Lance back in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it took 23,500 words, but they finally kissed! Phew, that was a monster of a chapter (13 pages on Word, I’m kinda surprised) - I hope it was okay?? I hope I did it justice, because that courtroom scene is my favourite part of the entire film (Elle Woods is my hero, okay). The next chapter will sadly be the last, just a short epilogue, and I hope to get it up asap! Thank you to everyone who has read/given kudos/commented, it means a lot! Takk!


	10. Epligoue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Keith and Lance are cute, Nyma doesn't do too great, and they all graduate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even have an excuse for why I was so late posting this, it was literally just procrastination. I don’t even know why, this scene from the film isn’t even 7 mins long. I’m a mess. Anyway, we’ve reached the end! I’m super sad to finish this, but I kinda like how it turned out? Like Pidge, this epilogue will be short and sweet, and I hope you enjoy it!

“Now, should I wear this one,” Lance held up a lavender shirt before throwing it back on the pile, “or _this_ one?” He said, examining the blue button up before looking back at the growing mountain of discarded shirts and blazers on his bed. 

Keith rolled his eyes. “You’ll look fine in whatever, Lance, just pick one so we can _go_ already. It’ll be under your robes, anyway” He huffed, having been dressed already for at least an hour now. 

Lance’s head snapped up so fast that Keith was concerned his boyfriend was going to break his neck. “Fine? _Fine_? Keith, this is our _graduation day_ \- I can’t just look ‘fine’. I’ve set a precedent of always looking my best for three long, glorious years, and I refuse to break such a long-standing and important tradition,” He said, pulling his best _you’ve-greatly-offended-me_ face. 

Keith chuckled, shaking his head and moving closer to the bed, deciding it would be best to humour Lance. He gave a quick once-over of the mound of clothes, before - _oh_. “You, uh, you should wear this one,” He said, gesturing at a turquoise blazer. 

Lance tilted his head, picking up the jacket and running his hand over the velvet fabric. “Why this one? Not that I’m denying I look fabulous in it, of course, but what’s so special about it?” 

Keith mumbled something, turning his head to the side and furiously wishing the blood rushing to his cheeks would stop. 

“Huh?” Lance asked, turning his attention back to his boyfriend, who sighed and resigned himself to the inevitable teasing. 

“I _said_ , it was the jacket you were wearing, uhm, the first time I saw you,” He muttered, head still facing down. 

Lance practically squealed. “That’s _adorable_ , oh my - wait, wait, are you _blushing_?!” He teased, pulling his boyfriend's face up with a hand on his chin. He poked Keith’s flaming red cheeks a couple of times, almost disbelieving that it was actually happening. The other boy pouted. 

“Whatever. Just get dressed, we’re going to be late,” He said, turning around and trying to walk away, only to be spun back around by Lance. 

“Aw, come on, don’t be embarrassed! It’s cute!” He grinned, pulling Keith in for a quick kiss. “I love you,” He said, after pulling away. 

Keith rolled his eyes. “I love you, too. Now, hurry the hell up,” He begrudgingly said, but he didn’t fool Lance one bit - the boy was a sap at heart. 

~~~

The hall was absolutely packed with people, rows of graduating students and family alike. Lance quickly adjusted the mortarboard upon Keith’s head, before running his hands over the shoulders of his boyfriends gown. “I’m actually pretty nervous,” He admitted, shrugging slightly. He felt a bit silly - after all, he’d won his first murder trial in his first year, and had only become more confident since then, but that knowledge didn’t stop the anxiety racing through his system. 

“Lance, you’re going to be great. I promise. Honestly, I never thought a bit of public speaking would scare you,” Keith said, running his thumb over Lance’s jaw. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “It’s not that, it’s just - this is like, the closing speech, yknow? And...after this, we’re thrown into the real world,” He said, shrugging once more. “I didn’t say my nerves were rational,” 

Keith pulled him in for a hug, which Lance melted into, even if it did mean he got hit in the face by the hat. “I know it’s scary - I am too. But we have each other, right? We’re gonna be okay.” He said into Lance’s shoulder. He pulled back slightly, looking into Lance’s eyes. “Now, get in there and kick some serious public-speaking ass,” 

~~~

“Ladies and Gentleman,” Professor Luxia started, speaking into the small podiums microphone, “I present to you the class of 2017,” She said, and was met with thunderous applause and cheering. She waited until the crowd died down before continuing. “I am extremely honoured to introduce the elected speaker for this year. After getting off to quite an….interesting start, you could say, he now graduates top of his class, and with an invitation to start at one of Boston’s most prestigious law firms. I know without a doubt that we will be seeing great, great things from him. Ladies and gentlemen, Lance Dìaz.” 

Lance stood up at the applause, making his way over to the podium and bringing his professor into a hug. Luxia laughed and returned it, before ushering him towards the microphone. 

_Oh man, this is it_. 

He took a deep breath, and glanced at the crowd before starting. “On our very first day at Harvard, a very wise Professor quoted Aristotle. _‘The Law is reason free from passion’_. Well, no offence to Aristotle - I’m sure he was great - but in my three years here, at Harvard, I’ve discovered that passion is one of the most vital ingredients not only in the study of Law, but also in life.” 

He looked out at the masses of people, spotting Pidge and Hunk - Pidge nearby at MIT, but Hunk making the trip down from his catering school in New York - in the crowd, smiling goofily at him. Nex to them sat Corran and his now-wife and co-parent, and Allura and Shiro. Closer to the stage sat Keith, who arched an eyebrow at him, and then Nyma - who, incidentally, had nearly failed out of the course and had no job offers. 

“It is with passion, courage of conviction, and sheet strength of self, that we take our next steps into the world - remembering that first impressions are not always correct.” He glanced briefly at Keith again, who gave him a sappy smile in reply. “You must always have faith in those around you, and most importantly of all, yourself. Congratulations, class of 2017. We did it!”

And when everyone stood up and cheered for not only Lance, but themselves and eachother? Lance knew that he had, in fact, done it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god? It’s finished? Thank you so so much to everyone who read, commented, gave a kudos and/or bookmarked - it meant the world to me and I’m so thrilled people enjoyed this silly little story! I had a total blast writing it, and as such, I'll be making this a series! I don’t know when I’ll be updating (for sure not until I’ve settled into uni), but it will probably be little drabbles and snapshots of the characters in this universe. Who knows, I might actually write a concrete sequel about the events of Legally Blonde 2, but we’ll have to see! Also, feel free to come and shout at me about voltron/legally blonde/literally anything at my tumblr, sad-n-queer.tumblr.com. Tusen Takk!


End file.
